RIVIERA HASH TRASH Monaco
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Yielding to immense pressure from an Elder of the club, let me dutifully give you brief idea of what you missed in 'Monaco' just a week ago:
'Sadist' gave us advanced warning that a bunch of Hashers were doing 'Monaco', as part of their 'HASH' around the small countries of Europe. People seemed to have come from all over to join them: 'Drainoil' from the 'Mother of all Hashes', in 'Malaysia'. He had left his grandchildren and family, visiting from 'Europe, to join this event. What style. 'Dusty' from 'Tasmania' and some friends, just happened to be sailing by 'Monaco' and dropped in on the way to 'Gibraltar'. Impressive. Others came from 'Stuttgart' 'Switzerland' and 'Brussels'.
But for the local RHHH, it was predictable that the French public transport system would thwart most attempts to support this event, but cancellng all trains 'Ventimille' to 'Cannes' between 22:00 and 0500, with no replacement buses.
Thus only 3 'Riviera HHH', 'Sadist', 'Scriptease' and 'No Satisfaction' managed to attend this historic event, commendably supported by 'Sadist's, nephews, both on the run and in the bar.
'Sadist' was a guest Hare. This just as well as we would almost certainly have been arrested had he not laid such a subtle trail.
Starting from 'Cap D'Ail train station, the first ritual was to 'pass the bouquet' to the next Hare. 'Cougar' got voted next Hare and very pretty he looked too with his bouquet.
One of the Hares offered chocolate and other Hashers shared a few beers and then it was off. Uphill of course.
We followed a trail with fiendish tricks: Cleverly ambiguous, so that checks and back-checks became redundant, as the trail itself was hard enough to find.
I realized this only after descending a very steep staircase, in the wrong direction.
After a few hairpin bends around million dollar properties, we finally dropped down to the stunning 'Sentier Littoral' from 'Cap D'Ail' to 'Monaco'
A few falsies later, we ended up at the 'Heliport' of 'Monaco'.
For this part, immaculately marked street maps had been distributed. Noone was going to risk being arrested for laying flour.
Some were unable to follow maps, and some got a bit lost as they did not include the intricate detail of the many underpasses, to cross the 'Monaco' roads.
The 'Visitors' were extremely impressed with 'Casino Square'. No one quite dared to go into the Casino itself, in sweaty T-Shirts,but there was a photo shoot. Posing over, it was time to move on.
The trail then wound back down through the tunnel, of course, giving everyone a real feel for the 'Grand Prix' track.
The trail ended, perfectly timed for 'Happy Hour' at the bar.
We had a table reserved at the trendy 'Brasserie de Monaco', a hot spot on the 'Port of Monaco' and simply a place to be seen.
We Hashers cut a dash in our gear. The place has had rave reviews since we visited it and put it on the map.
Check out the article in 'Nice Matin' Saturday Aug 13. Strange we weren't in the picture.
The bouncers were very understanding. We were quickly and quietly ushered to our corner.
After benefiting copiously from the 'Happy Hour' tarif, with half-gallon sized Mojitos, we swayed over to the pontoon for the circle proper. This was just as well, as 'Yardsucker' the lady organising the trip, has an amazing repertoire of songs, some phrases of which, I actually did not understand, due to my sheltered upbringing. This may have offended some folk back at the Port.
The crowd on the mega yacht behind us, bewildered by the raucous proceedings, retreated into the safety of their air-conditioned lounge. But not before we had made them suffer us singing 'Rule Britannia' as they lowered their standard.
A Hasher from 'Holland' walked up to the security chap in front of a massive sailing yacht and almost talked his way on board.
But who would take off their running shoes for that?
'Higgins' did a good job with the circle , welcoming mostly everyone into the circle and embarrassing them at some point.
Then suddenly the pontoon surface started to shake and the circle filled with fumes.
We scattered promptly at the daunting sight of a Ferrari driver accelerating, very fast backwards, through our circle.
Hey! Only in 'Monaco'. It was impressive, as this could have gone terribly wrong for the driver.
He enjoyed his 5 seconds of fame as we all cheered.
'Yardsucker' had an appropriate song, something to do with the size of his gearstick.
By the way, a special mention here for the organizer.
It was nice to learn that this was in fact the honeymoon trip for 'Yardsucker' and 'Rumpledforeskin'.
What bliss! What could be better than going on honeymoon for 2 weeks with all your Hash friends and your husband?
They even had a right reverend Hasher with them.
It is just a shame that Prince Albert and Charlene were not their to congratulate them.
At dusk, beer hamper emptied, we returned to our 'VIP' table, just in time for a fabulous display of fireworks that no doubt 'Sadist' had organized too for the happy couple.
After that we tucked into plates of pasta and pizzas, a bargain for around 14 Euros.
'Lickim' spent the whole time during the 'on on' working out everybodys' bill and taking money. After that it was time for them all to leave.
'Monaco' was conquered. They were off to 'Andorra' the next morning.
As for 'Scriptease' and I, we stayed on for another round, for a debrief. Soon we became aware how the scene was changing around us.
We became conspicuousl in our hashing gear, as more and more chic young things floated in to the bar. All wearing white.
The music got louder as the restaurant became a dance floor preparing for the 'Nuit Blanche'.
Sadly it was definitely time for us to leave.
Thanks everyone. A great run, 'Sadist'. What a fantastic Hash. Full of Disney chic!
''On On' until the next time
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