RIVIERA HASH TRASH 808
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Run Report 808 Haggis Hash- Falsies in Villeneuve Loubet


‘Twas in the year of grace two thousand and sixteen
A glorious sight in Villeneuve Loubet was to be seen.
A noble crowd of hashers Tartan-dressed in pursuit
Of that mysterious creature from auld Scotland-The Haggis.
Their search was vain, but afterwards
They did drink beer, and then should repair
To the house of Farty Bum for gourmet fare.
And Hamish, if you’re asked by old Mrs Naughtie “You’ll have had your tea?”
You can reply:”Och aye! Haggis, neeps and tatties and a wee dram of Scotch whisky”.


Yet another hash in Villeneuve Loubet to the annoyance of Farty Bum who complained that all the possible trails in her home territory were being used up by hares other than herself. After we had gathered for the prehash briefing, Padre wanted a word before we started saying that there was only one trail for everyone and the walkers would have to do their share of checking to find the trail to the haggis.
The runners went off on a falsie at the first check while the walkers set off across the playing fields to the river, where again the runners chose the wrong direction. Sadist seeing there was no flour on the bridge across the river, walked across to find trail hidden at the other end. He wasn’t so lucky at the next check where he saw a building site and wrongly guessed that Padre would have chosen that route. The next check was at the entrance to the old village. Here there was much confusion and the start of everyone getting lost in the search for the elusive haggis. The runners were out of sight and the walkers were wandering around like lost sheep. There was flour here and there up the steep narrow roads and flights of steps, checks all over the place and crosses to mark false trails.

No Grappa saw flour up the hill ( but not the cross) and went off never to be seen again; Finnish Fly followed her until Sadist pointed out a check he spied, and she then went up the steps by the back of the church and must have met up with No Grappa as they both went off back to the start. Sadist waited by the check, calling ‘ On to Check’ from time to time but no one followed. As neither No Grappa nor Finnish Fly came back he reasoned they must have found trail, so he went up the hill and was shortly to be joined by the rest of the runners. A bit further on the runners found the beer car by the gates to the castle so we all stopped and waited for Pedo to arrive with the car key.
Somehow there was a feeling there had been a mistake as the trail had only been 2.5 km, far too short for a Riviera first half. After about 10 minutes Cumalot turned up and announced that a long loop had been missed and a cross had been run through, which he would point out. ( Incidentally we should have all been very suspicious of false trails as the coat of arms of Villeneuve Loubet is in fact a cross, though it looks to me to be made of 2 baguettes rather than raw flour. (see Wikipedia picture at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villeneuve-Loubet ( you might read the Wikipedia article as it also refers to Jean-Loup, Farty Bum’s son who has hashed with us in his younger days, and his unusual interest in local military history ). So the runners went off to do the loop; Sadist stayed behind to guard the beer car in case Pedo arrived with keys, which he did after another long interval.
Eventually the walkers and the runners made it to this very pleasant stopping place, bathed in the January sunshine with a view towards the sea and the start only about a mile away. Finnish Fly and No Grappa arrived too having decided to do the trail a second time once they had arrived back at the start, where they had come across Procul who had arrived late as usual. By the time everyone had refreshed themselves with beer or panache and chips and nuts, Iron Lady turned up. So it was time to leave for the second half, which was much more straightforward. Back across the river and the former tobacco fields to where we had parked.



A circle was directed by Religious Adviser Cumalot-
Down downs for the
  • Hares- Cumalot, Padre
  • Mugless- Long & Hard, Fairy Plongeur, Procul, Pedo
  • Spillage- Long & Hard
  • Australia Day- Iron Lady (kiwi), Prestressed (related)
  • Returners- Procul, Supermarket Trolley, Fairy Plongeur
  • Tartan dressers-No Grappa, Pedo, Padre, Perpetch, Sadist, Dire Rear, Iron Lady
  • Best dressed- No Grappa, Padre
  • Forgetful- Duchess of Cambridge
  • Shortcutters/Double trail runners--No Grappa, Finnish Fly, Pilchard, Prestressed, Perpetual Motion, Supermarket Trolley, Sadist
  • Shit of the Week- Padre (for poor bagpipe music)
  • Runner up- Long & Hard
Oh and we forgot a birthday down-down for Padre

Meanwhile, Madame Mouton, Cumsquicker and Farty Bum had been slaving over hot stoves preparing the traditional Burns Supper dishes of haggis, neeps and tatties with special onion gravy and of course cheese and desserts with Scotch whisky available as well as beer and wine.
In spite of the lack of bagpipe music to pipe in the dish of the day, Sadist proclaimed the Address to the Haggis, perplexing all. In fact it is very simple: the haggis is welcomed and then cut up; the poem scorns the skinny foreigner (such as Fairy Plongeur) brought up on foreign muck, and praises the brawny appearance (such as Perpetual Motion) of those fed on the haggis.
Some notable events were: more spillage by Long & Hard who also showed her talent as a seller of haberdashery, and Finnish Fly falling off her chair and hurting her coccyx- she spurned massage offers from a number of male amateur physiotherapists. Many thanks to the cooks for the banquet and Farty Bum for the hospitality.

OnOn

Upcumming Events
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R*n 809: NEXT HASH 14 - Feb

Hello All,

The next hash will be on Sunday 14th February starting from the bloody big bridge which crosses Lac St Cassien.

Time 1030 Hrs for a 1100 Hrs prompt start.

Directions. Exit the A8 at les Adrets (Sortie 39) and take the the D37 towards Montauroux and and Fayence. After about 5kms you cross the bridge and the parking is immediately on the left. There should be no problem with parking spaces at this time of year.

The On On will be Chez Martine et Simon which we have used before.

Entree, main course, dessert, coffee and 1/4 wine - 17 euros per head.

If you wish to phone evenings are usually best 04 94 85 15 50

Regards

Perpetual Motion