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NEXT RUN N° 789 10/5/2015

R*N REPORT N° 788 26/4/2015

Worth Reading
50 Shades of Smut


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Never Cums

Water Sports with Sex Club in Le Cannet

Our hash on the 26th April was held in in both Le Cannet and a time warp. The latter was the Second World War in Occupied France. We had the presence of the Gestapo, rationing and even deportation of Jews.

We had probably the longest briefing by a hare in hash history easily surpassing the one given to Allied commanders before D Day. It was also totally incomprehensible. What we did gather was we would be going up. We started to go up and before long the pack split up being confused and bewildered. No flour, you see, because of wartime rationing. Eventually we reached a construction site which we vaguely remembered as the point we should turn left. This was the trail under which the water supply for the Cannois flows.

It was a really lovely trail and the pack was drastically split. In front was a very much reduced Tooty Fruity, literally half the size he was in Italy 2 years ago. No Satisfaction, Lonely, Padre and Perpetual Motion. We reached a car park which we vaguely remembered could be the beer stop. We looked around eagerly for the beer car but could not see it. Not surprising really because it was not there.

It was clear this was a popular trail for the locals. Some were dressed as though they were on the way to a Buckingham Palace Garden Party. Not running too fast of course; it would just not do to break sweat. We continued. Still no flour. But we eventually arrived at a natural stop as the trail met tarmac. We hung around for about 15 minutes admiring the view. Tooty Fruity, relishing his state of fitness, passed the time doing pull ups on a tree. He would not have been able to do that 2 years ago - the branch would have snapped.

We decided to return to the car park and there we did find the beer truck where Pedo informed us of an investigation from the local Gestapo as to our sinister activities. Just as we arrived at the beer stop the rest had started their return. The return was uneventful and we were able to have the Down Downs in the pretty square. (The Jews who had gathered 2 hours earlier had been deported on the 1120 from Cannes to Strasbourg and beyond). The Gestapo were ever watchful though, and ordered the beer car to vacate the square.

It had been overcast at the start but now in bright sunshine the following Down Downs were administered.:

Hare: Sex Club
Duchess: Sexual perversion -- "hold it"
Tutti Frutti -- half the size he used to be
Being competetive -- Tutti Frutti, Farty Bum (racing down stairs behind Padre)
Pissing into canal: Lonely
Sort of late: Pilchard (all the press-ups and all the sit-ups)
Visitor: Giving Head (Budapest)
Perpetch: trying to procure sevices of virgin visitor for free
New shoes: Tutti Frutti (plus Uncle Duchess for not telling Tutti Frutti about new shoes)
Virgin: Loreena (came with Tutti Frutti)
Dressed for St George and dragon / Shakespear's birthday / Anzac Day: Sadist, Padre, Perpetch, Farty Bum, Wetspot
Returners: Two Cheeky, Feckindale, Gregoire, Wetspot, Dire Rear
Shit of Week nominations:
Sex Club (no flour), Uncle Duchess (sorry, didn't catch this one), Tutti Frutti (dropping virgin in shit?)
Winner: Sex Club

Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!

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R*n 789: NEXT HASH -May

Already run.