RIVIERA HASH TRASH 778
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R*N REPORT 778
WALKERS' REPORT 778
50 Shades of Smut
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Run Number 778
Hares; Perpetual Motion
and Wet Spot
Location; Le Muy
Scribe; Mary Krismus
Well, where to start?
I know, as I am American, I forgot to mention the recent event of Thanksgiving.
And I feel I should tell you I shot my first turkey recently.
It was awesome.
Scared everyone in the frozen section.......
I suppose I should also mention the Biblical Rains.
Although the forty days and forty nights would have been welcomed after what we have experience in this period.
In case you did not hear, we experienced a new record of over 500mm ish of wet compared to the last record of only 400mm ish.
The caption states that 12 people were missing. ( I wondered where everyone was, now I know, Ed.)
There is no excuse for not having a Hash and 500mm would have been only a light shower in Bangladesh.
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN !
Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to swirl around, Earthquakes to quake.
& no one teaches a man how to choose a wife.
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
Some pretty weak willed Hashers out there.
A little damp and they search for alternative mode of entertainment.
Don't you have faith in your R.A?
The Hares made the trip to the run site, on Saturday, to lay the trail but had to abandon their efforts because as fast as the trail was laid it was being washed away.
Sunday dawned bright and clear with wonderful blue skies.
Fortunately our early birds do not have a problem getting out of bed in the mornings and were up very early to lay the trail before we arrived.
We arrived in the sunshine and dry to be met by two bedraggled Hares making their final arrangements.
Here is the proof we arrived in the sunshine.
A briefing from the Hares about something and we are off and this is what we found at the start of the run. (Notice the Blue , Ed.)
Out of the car park and into the countryside. The first three checks were solved rapidly in quick succession by Cumalot and Padre, leaving the sweeping Hare way behind and then we are into the back country.
So much wonderful, open countryside and stunning scenery, full of little paths and tracks for the Hares to weave their devious magic.
After a while all the paths seemed to merge into one and we beginning to think we were inside a Mobius Band.
Talking of never ending pleasure, that reminds me........there are 70 ways to make a woman happy. One, take her shopping for shoes and the other 69.
The trail wound its way around the hillside in a series of gentle loops and no, or very little, elevation loss or gain, much to our relief as we were busy watching where we were putting our feet due to the amount of Shiggy
It does not get much better than this unless you add another 15*c of heat.
After 40 minutes of this we finally arrive at the beer stop and await the walkers who arrive about five minute later.
A discussion about the meaning of life ensued for a couple of beers later and we are on our way once more.
This is the Goat enclosure near the Beer Stop.
Just to show you what you were missing. Look at all that Blue !
The walkers set off on their amble there is the choice of a simple run in or the full Pretzel for the runners. So, Perpetual Motion is given five minutes head start and then we attempt to catch him.
Looks a bit like Ayers rock if you squint and have a few beers at the beer stop. Anything looks good if you have enough Beer.
If she does not start looking good after six then forget it.
I used to eat a lot of natural food until I learned most people die of natural causes. And remember, Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The chase commences and we finally catch up with the Hare as we approach the end of the run.
I just had to show you this image of a street light to illustrate you do not have to leave France to experience third world living.
Where is all the 'Elf and Safety when you need it?
A brief circle and we retire to the restaurant just across the road from the Car Park. This is one we have used in the past and it was worth going to Le Muy just for the food alone.
Many thanks to the Hares for all the extra work due to the inclement weather.
A small turnout of hard-core hashers met for a hash in the Var. Presumably the rest of you were in church for the 2nd Sunday of Advent where you would have heard the words of Isaiah "Prepare ye the way of the Lord. Every valley shall be exalted and every mountain and hill shall be made low; and the crooked shall be made straight and the rough places plain". Now with all respect to the Jerusalem H3, I don't think that Isaiah would make a great Religious Advisor , his hashes would be extremely boring. We like our trails to be crooked and interesting, and though we could sometimes wish for a little less UP on our trails some variety in the terrain is appreciated.
So we started off on time- the two runners and runners hare Perpetch crossed the busy road and disappeared into the distance. Our first objective was to cross the fast flowing river Nartuby. In full spate it would not have been a good spot for John the Baptist to substitute for the river Jordan for baptisms by full immersion. Fortunately for us there was a road bridge across the obstacle. As the FWB (Front Walking Bastard) I had a problem that Wetspot, the hare guiding the walkers, was someway behind so I missed the first turn to the left. This was to recur a few times for me during the hash. Not always waiting for guidance from our leader I came across a cross marking a false trail and retraced my steps, only to be met by the walking group coming along what was indeed the correct trail from the last check. Ho hum!
Well the first part of the walk was through the local litter tip where people went to throw their empty beer cans and soft drinks bottles on the ground - a quaint local custom but not one which would be considered an attraction for tourists. But then the trail went uphill into open country and it was evidently too much of an effort for the locals to reach the higher ground. It reminded me of the height limit line in Cyprus where the dumping of old fridges ended. After this there was some attractive countryside with views north over agricultural land. The path became rather rocky and worn away by the recent rains but soon lead down to a road and Wetspot announced that just round the corner we would find the beer stop. So it was.
The runners had been there for 10 minutes before the walking group arrived all together and we spent a pleasant break in the sunshine before setting off again. We had to wait while Perpetch went off to set some more trail for the runners . This is a better message from Jerusalem H3 : " But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; ...they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint"(Isaiah 40;31). The walkers trail was on the road uphill for some distance before we once again got onto the sandy track leading back to where we had started. Half an hour back to the start only just being beaten back by Padre and Perpetch who then set off to recover the beer car. Due to the absence of our regular beermeister Pedo, rumoured to be on a boat in the Med with a load of illegal immigrants ( is this his new business venture?) , we had to wait for end-of-hash refreshments before a short circle and a walk to a nearby restaurant for lunch . OnOn to the next hash in St Paul de Vence-21st December-wear your Santa gear.
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 779: NEXT HASH 21-Dec
Santa comes to St Paul
Directions for Hash 21 December 2014
Meet at 10.30 for 11.00am start
Hash start is opposite the Hotel Vague de St Paul
How to get there:
Coming from Cagnes sur Mer
Take the M336 (this isn't a motorway, but known generally as the Penetrante) direction Vence/St Paul. After the McDonald's roundabout and the roadworks continue to the next roundabout, take the D436 direction La Colle/St Paul; keep on following the signs to St Paul, as you enter St Paul
at the roundabout with a pile of rusty iron take the 9 o'clock left ,signed for Fondation Maeght, continue uphill for almost 2km, where there is a sharp left turn, park opposite the Hotel La Vague de St Paul.
Coming from Vence
Take the Grasse/Tourrettes sur Loup road for 2km. at the roundabout with the palm trees, take the 9 o'clock left and continue downhill for about 2km through the various wiggles through the woods; at the junction take a sharp right where there is a sign for La Vague then left at the bend and park opposite the hotel.
Costumes- honour Santa with appropriate dress- red T shirts, Santa hats, etc.
Presents- bring a gift for Santa's sack (don't spend more than 3 euros) and you will in turn be awarded a handsome gift!
OnOn- Madame Mouton has arranged a suitable venue: La Terrasse sur Saint Paul, (3 courses for 22 euros including wine). Restaurant 1pm - 1.15 latest.
Please let us have your choice from the following menus, by Thursday night 18th. Email Mme Mouton on email@example.com or her house phone is 04 89 14 60 89 (no mobile at the moment!). Sadist's mobile is 06 87 09 54 32
Feuilleté de Chèvre Epinards
Fondant de Volaille aux cèpes et sa garniture
Filet de Limande "Sauce Vièrge" et sa garniture
Thanks a bunch and looking forward to seeing you all there!
Sadist and Mme Mouton