RIVIERA HASH TRASH 773
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Farty Bum & Confusion
R*N REPORT 773
WALKERS' REPORT 773
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Hares: Contessa and Coco
Gore and Ghouls in Gorbio by Scribe, Morna Handful.
Halloween has its origins in ancient customs but the Americans commercialised it adding trick or treat and Pumpkin Pie amongst other things.
I asked my Yank friend about Pumpkin Pie and he explained that first you measure the circumference and then cut it in half and measure the diameter and express one as a ratio of the other.
So now you know.
A beautiful area, not Hashed in since Run Number 5 which I suspect was due to the difficulty in finding enough little trails as much as the distance from the epicentre of the known Hash universe.
A healthy turn out, or in the case of some the participants a scary turn out. Gorgeous Edna certainly did not fit into the healthy looking category.
Gorgeous (?) Edna !
The plan A, I am led to believe, was to run towards St. Agnes but the trail suffered a landslide and was not passable and so plan B came into play.
However, all was not lost as our intrepid Hares made use of the village and occupied a quaint little Gite there as a base for a dirty weekend. Combing business with pleasure? Which reminds me of a newly wed couple arriving at their hotel and the receptionist asked, "Do you have a reservation?" And the bride replied, "Only taking it up the bum." Were was I, oh yes, in the car park.
Our Grim Reaper called all to order and threatened death to anyone not listening to the instructions issued by Coco, and translated to Hash Speak by Contessa. Basically, the instructions were, if you see a symbol you do not recognise, ignore it.
We all leave the car park and head, (who said Head?) down into the village to do some scary thingies to the locals. A quick heart attack here, a poo in the pants there, and we start the process of going Up into the hills to enjoy ourselves. Unless you are a purple witch who decided that as her broomstick was playing up she was going abandoned the running trail to join the scary creatures on the walkers trail.
The first half bore quiet a similarity to the last one, so much so that I was going to commit plagiarism and just cut and paste. Both at altitude, both containing boocoo Up and both featuring Perched Villages.
However, I figured the last run was Up and across, then across and Up but this one was across and Up followed by Up and across. So I was unable to do so.
The front runners constantly changing, but David N.N. was doing his Tortoise impersonation as per Aesop's Tortoise and Hare fable and remained in the middle of the pack whilst all around him changed positions.
And, I am not sure if it is because we are a bunch of old farts, or if it is because we were in costume, but the two younger members, not in costume, were helping out by running ahead and finding the false trails for us struggling with our robes and masks, thus allowing the pack to keep together.
Younger one, not in costume, searching ahead on the trail.
The even younger one is already around the corner.
Or should that be, "around the bend."
Completely around the bend !
For those who do not have English English as a first language you may need to have this explained to you.This puts it better than I could.
We are all together now as we begin our descent and meet a grinning CoCo who has wandered up from the start about 500 metres below about 45 minutes previously.
A welcome Rune indicates a beer stop UP ahead. Yes, the down finished early and we start our upward attack on base camp with the promise of supplies of beer and refreshments near. However, Coco's sense of humour left something to be desired as we met the walkers approaching with their Hare, Contessa, who informs us we are all going the wrong way. A brief discussion with the emphasis on the cuss part of the word discussion and we all turn around and start to descend.
A good distance from the walkers we find a cross indicating a false trail which was certainly not there on our way up. A quick executive decision and we all decide the real trail must be off to the side somewhere and retrace our steps, albeit slowly.
Eventually we once more meet up with the walkers, still descending like tranquilized sloths coming down a tree. I think the Hare had told them to meander even more slowly than usual to ensure the runners had a good work out coming back up to meet them. The Hare then tells us to ignore the cross and proceed to the beers stop where we will find suitable refreshment and sustenance.
What a surprise at the beer stop where we find Coco has been setting up a field kitchen and proceeds to do his signature dish for his audition for Master Chef.
He says his fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation, he now sell smoothies.
A very pleasant diversion from the norm.
Talking of diversions;
Why do Cadbury's make white chocolate buttons?
It is so that black kids can have messy faces as well!
Beer stop over and we make our way around the contour towards St. Agnes and the landslip trail. Eh?
Along the way we pass a garden gate themed for our event.
I do not know if you can see that the horse is, in fact, a skeleton, the skeleton on the left is constructed, cleverly using different colored stones, and the statue on the right is a scary, Indiana Jones type, mummy. And a freaky dragon leaping over the lot.
This was located just before the church dedicated to the plague victims., (I think) which was inspected by Val N.N. who was last heard muttering wicked incantations.
Val N.N.'s Satanic muttering.
I do not know what she did but this is how she ended up.
Next up a beautiful ancient bridge, even older than some of our members, which led us to the wilds behind the village. So wild in fact we could not find the correct trail and gave up, assuming the trail had to go back the way we had come. Waiting for us at the junction was a Coco with mixed emotions. He was pleased we had spent some time running up and down like headless chickens but disappointed we were unable to find the correct trail which would have completed a grand circle. However, as we took as much time and ran as far as the real trail, he seemed content.
And from here it was just a gentle trot in to the finish.
All arriving back more or less together, so well done hares.
The Grim Reaper with scary zombie.
A scary Mme. Mouton nominated for some offense serious enough to be considered for the S.O.T.W.
The day looked foreboding as we all reached the hilltop village of Gorbio. However, as the day progressed the mist largely disappeared and it was a lovely day. Most hashers came in some form of costume/ decoration for this Halloween event.
After initial instructions from the hares Contessa & Coco we left the local car park. Just like the Grand Old Duke of York, Contessa led the walkers " up the top of the hill and led them down again" Contessa pointed out varios points of interest on the way including the A8 motorway in the distance. Some great views over mountain and sea.
At the "bottom of the hill" an excellent beer stop was organised to include , appropriately, pumpkin soup...a rare treat.
The second part of the hash for the walkers skirted the village and took in some more interesting views. This included seeing a giant size model of the King of the Jungle, an orang-utan! As we returned the group split up and explored the fantastic medieval village of Gorbio. A visit to the church of St Bartolome and an explanation of village baking was provided by hare Contessa.
The down-down featured all the normal suspects but included a fancy dress competition. ( It was pointed out the the hash is non-competitive!!!) However, Farty Bum won the ladies competition on behalf of the walkers. Much beer was drunk.
To finish the day we lunched at La Terrace restaurant and all were happy.
Gorgeous Edna signs off and will see you all at the Christmas party.
For a more detailed Walkers' Report click here.
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Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 774: NEXT HASH 9-Nov