RIVIERA HASH TRASH 766
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R*N REPORT 766
50 Shades of Smut
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Numbers are looking up: 100% increase in walkers, a 400% ! increase in runners on Cumalot's and Undergrowth's hash around the surroundings of Vence. Runners? numbers were boosted by Mudflaps a visiting hasher from England and David, a virgin from Theoule.
Cumalot gave a briefing in the carpark and then they were off. As I had to go back and put the hash funds in my car, by the time I turned round everyone had disappeared. I found the in-trail and the Ws for the walkers' trail and then noticed the hare in the far distance. He was waiting at a check and said that the runners had all disappeared in the direction of the old town centre and advised me to go another way.
One problem of hashing on well known home territory is that you know lots of alternative trails but are never sure which is going to be the right one so you are in just as confused situation if not more so as the other hashers. So you have to check out the trails just the same; sometimes you have guessed right and other times you are up a falsie. At times I was an FRB leading the runners, othertimes I had chosen the wrong trail and had to catch up. The hare had not perfected the art of making a perfect circle in flour and had left a little tail like a Q- was this an error or was it marking the right trail's direction ?
Perhaps the former-the hare could need more flour practice.
We went up lots of little roads- some very up- eventually heading west until a check which took us back in the direction of the start, until another check sent us towards Madame Mouton's old stamping grounds- were we to run past her old house and down the paths into the forest? My guess was not; rather heading towards a beerstop in the Vence forest along a sneaky path over a stream. Being at that time at the front I chose to explore some of the alternative routes which were obviously false in the hope of finding a short cut or at least to get to know better the little roads and paths. This put me behind the runners' pack. Eventually we got into the forest where there was one trail for the walkers and another for the runners. Bs and a lot of noise indicated that Beer was Near; the walkers had got there first and so had half the runners, but not David , our virgin runner. The hare had advised him of the FRB's route but he was nowhere to be seen. Ho hum, the second half would not be retracing steps but he was an ex military man so would eventually get back to base.
The second half was indicated southwards; this meant that to get back to the start we would have to descend to the bottom of the valley and then take the steps towards Vence up the other side of the ravine. The question was which was the path down? Sadist took the first path but came to a cross marking the falsie and was then pursued back up by a couple of bikers driving up the steep rocky path. So more checking to find the downward path; it must be off to the left side of the road, so why was Perpetual Motion checking paths to the right side? Path found , and then we met the walkers coming down the first path, giving helpful suggestions that perhaps we were going the wrong way. Ignoring this we went down to the stream, then up the long uphill flight of steps to a residential area which we toured till getting back to the town centre and our car park for the circle.
So what happened to our lost virgin? Having deleted him from our in-box, at 3pm halfway through the OnOn at the restaurant in the town square we were surprised to be reunited with David who had invented his own hash and run all the way down to St Paul de Vence and back. Now I know I did set a trail down to St Paul 6 weeks ago and I had assumed that my flour trail would have been washed away by now so I won't take any blame for a misleading trail. I rather think the hare's briefing at the start omitted to say that if you don't see any flour, go back to the last blob.
Hares: Cumalot and Undergrowth
FartyBum - dereliction of duty as Hash Cash and skipping the run (Long ?n Hard and Fairy Plongeur dishonourable mentions)
Archieballs, Whingey-le-pou, Dark and Moist, Madame Mouton, Dire Rear, Tosspot, FartyBum
Long n Hard (Geneva), Fairy Plongeur (German Nash Hash, Rudesheim)
Accusing Hashers of being Pig Fickers (work it out)
Reverse Mooning to the circle:
Child Abuse (repeatedly dousing own child with water):
SotW in waiting:
Cumalot for losing a virgin.
Prestressed and Skinny Ah So for tardiness and then non-appearance.
5-7 September, Dublin Away Weekend
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R*n 767/768/769: NEXT HASH 5-7-Sep