RIVIERA HASH TRASH 754
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R*N REPORT 754
50 Shades of Smut
Hash directions should go firstname.lastname@example.org
Have your say-got an opinion? Give it to me and I'll publish and be dammed
Hares: La Levrette and No Grappa
A sunny morning in Roquefort des Pins greeted a large group of Hashers, Harriettes, dogs, children and virgins. Some of the dogs may have been virgins and some the Harriettes may have been.. ( let's not go there - ed).
All had gathered to r*n off the excesses of the night before (the week before looking at some of them - ed) and to celebrate 26 years of the RHHH and St. Urlaf's day (St Patricks day surely? - ed).
The hares promised a few surprises in the publicity, the first being that the restaurant had been warned of the previous debauchery of the RHHH and cancelled our reservation at the last minute, preferring the genteel manners of the biker gang who had clearly taken our place. No matter, newly named No Nuts sped home and started cooking 25 pizzas and 50 petit fours. Well done that man!
After the news of the retreating resto had sunk in, the pack set off into the streets. A good first loop took us back to the start with false trails keeping the pack together. The walkers had long disappeared but who knows what they do ( the walkers scribe? - ed).
Cums Quicker blazed ahead, diligently finding all the false trails letting the more experienced (you mean old - ed) r*nners catch up.
R*nning Hare No Grappa, was keen to keep the pack together so was kicking out the checks and calling errant r*nners back on trail! these acts of kindness would surely be rewarded later.
Running though what was more Little England rather than Roquefort, lapsed Hashers emerged from their compounds after hearing the hoots of 'On-On' obviously hoping to be showered in beer rather thane being offered a golden shower by a desperate Harriette (no names, no pack drill).
The trail soon left civilisation behind and entered the woods and trails of the maquis. The runners soon came across a totem of a failed agricultural experiment, a full scale plastic model of a dairy cow alone in a tiny paddock. Thus would have been an ideal accompaniment to the plastic pig spotted last year. Perhaps they should be introduced.
After much going round in circles with the pack becoming strung out through the woods we arrived at the beerstop but no ordinary beerstop. Firstly, the walkers had walked too quickly and arrived before Cumalot even though, super athlete he is, was the first r*nner back ( Short Cutting B*stard more like - ed) and distributed the victuals.
La Levrette had been busy baking birthday cake and delicious sour dough bread. The walkers had a head start on the r*nners (makes a change - ed) and started devouring the nosh. The runners soon arrived and joined the feeding frenzy but in a repeat of the miracle of the loaves and fishes, everyone had their fill.
Toss Pot became chief sommelier and distributed the champagne ready for the toast to 26 years of the RHHH and a rousing rendition of Hashy Birthday To Us.
The second half was as short and sweet as Long and Hard and the thirsty pack soon returned to the car park passing the restaurant where the Hells Angels were tucking into duck à l'orange with a fine jus de groseilles and a delicate rosé.
The circle then commenced with the usual debauchery and corruption of minors but was particularly marked by the returning CumCum finding the sight of bronzed Adonises (Perpetch and Blob? -ed) too much and swooning before the circle started.
The Hares served up specially dyed green beer, either that or one of them had a heavy cold.
For incriminating pictures see the Facebook group.
Hares: Levrette and No Grappa
Returners: Blob, Bendyminge, Orla (10) and Kiera (6), Lumberjack, Ann Summers and Suzie (10), Happy Ending, Billie Elliott (10), James, Sam (14), Finnish Fly, Smelly Pooh, Gorgeous Edna, Dancing Scrubber, Fly Me, Cum Cum, Prestressed, Skinny A, Anne Debray, Long & Hard, Madame Mooton, Dire Rear, Duchess
Spousal Abuse: Skinny A
Feigning injury (possibly short-cutting as well): Orla, Suzie
St Urho's Day (16 March): Finnish Fly
St Patrick's Day (tomorrow) / Irish winning rugby / wearing green: just about everybody
False accusation (maligning RA): Perpetch
Founder Member actually present: Contessa (who curtsied for about five minutes)
Birthdays: Contessa, Orla, Billie Elliott
Virgins: Alister (son of Ann Summers), Fred (nephew of Ann Summers), Tom (friend of Alister and Fred) (these three joined us at the beer stop), Sophie (friend of Ann Summers family)
Mugless: Smelly Pooh, Long & Hard
Improper down down: Smelly Pooh
Putting Shit of Week t-shirt in washing machine, thus removing its shittiness: Iron Lady
SHIT OF WEEK NOMINATIONS
Cumskwicker for abandoning a sick child to go hashing
Gorgeous Edna for nominating RA for shit of week
Winner (without vote): Gorgeous Edna
OnOn! To the next run!
AWAY WEEKEND 16 - 19 May 2014
Full Details here.
5-7 September, Dublin Away Weekend
Try this link to find information regarding the Belgium Interhash bid for 2014.
Book early and obtain a good price. (If they win the bid)
To see what world hash events are coming up, check out this website:
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 755: NEXT HASH 30-Mar
The < summer time is here (sort of ) > hash
Sunday 30th March
Meet at 11h30 for 12h00 in the public car park by Auberge de la Source, Valmasque
It is well known that hashers are an intelligent and punctual species, so come and celebrate the start of summer time with a hash that will start promptly on time (if Padre has anything to do with it.). Feeble excuses for lateness such as forgetting to reset your clocks will not be tolerated in the circle.
11h30 for 12h00 on Sunday 30th March.
In the public car park next to Auberge de la Source on the d103 between Antibes & Valbonne and on the edge of Sophia Antipolis.
We have used this restaurant many times so it should be known to many of you.
From the A8, exit at Antibes and follow the d35 Route de Grasse for 2km.
Go uphill after the right hand bend with Bo Concept on your left and a speed camera on your right (70kmh, as you ask). Fork right onto the d103 Route du Parc and follow for about 1km.
The Auberge & car park are on a slightly hidden fork as jou go downhill on the d103 just after the lights with the d504 signposted to the right.
No worries if you overshoot, continue to the Carrefour des Bouillides & double back on yourself and again thanks to the aforementioned junction with the d504.
Coming from Valbonne - follow the < overshoot > instructions.
Despite starting next to a favoured hash resto, Never Cums has kindly volunteered to prepare some party food for hungry hashers. The onon will be chez elle and Jobsworth and is about 5 minutes drive from the start.
Call Jobsworth on 06 07 93 85 01.