RIVIERA HASH TRASH 730
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R*N REPORT 730
Tidal Dave WALKERS' REPORT 730
50 Shades of Smut
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As the eyes of the world were focused on the Riviera to watch some overpaid men drive some silly cars rather fast around the streets of an obscene tax haven, a more discerning crowd of people gathered in Prestressed favourite dogging car park. He had obviously managed to warn his dogging friends of our impending arrival as non where there to welcome us. However, the sunshine did make a rare and welcome appearance and decided to stay for the day.
So a motley crew of hashers arrived in dribs drabs and jags and compared injuries and illness before we gathered for the run instructions. These consisted of two simple principles. For the walkers, only follow the W's (M's if you're Pedo). For the runners, follow the flower, and if you find an X with a line, good luck...
The runners set of at a cracking pace for the first 3 strides, and then dropped down into second gear for the 1 in 2 climb out of the valley. The trail meandered up, and up, and up, and up, and then it went up a bit before coming to a section of up, followed by a sneaky little uphill section. We eventually arrived at a road that was deceptively flat, and spread out in usual checking fashion. Tidal Dave feeling the effects of altitude decided to check downhill and quickly found flower, followed closely by a cross. Trudging back uphill he was caught up by a slightly confused Perpetch riding his bike. He claimed to have got lost in his efforts to find the car park, which when you consider Farty Bum had had no such problems, puts his confusion into perspective!
Back at the check we worked our way to the end of all the false trails before the realisation that the only way was down, down and down again. Back at the starting point we passed a sniggering hare and joined the walkers trail. We rounded the glorious blue waters of the Lac de l'Avellan. I say blue because I would imagine that without the biblical flood we have experienced since the turn of the year, the waters would be blue, and not the silty brown of the surrounding hills. However, the unappealing colour did not seem to put off the locals who were picnicking all around the edge, and wondering why these idiots were running around shouting.
On the far side of the lake, a long false trail took us up the other side of the valley. We assume it was a false trail as the flower ran out, and more importantly the hare did not go up it. So back to the lake and a leisurely jog around the edge before yet another climbing expedition. This time we had acclimatised to the altitude, and so took it at a steady pace. Finally we crested the hill and saw the welcome 'B' sign that gave is the incentive to go from walking pace to fast walking pace and onto the beerstop.
This had been chosen in an idyllic spot right next to a busy junction, so there was plenty of exhaust fumes to mix with your chips and beer (other beverages were available) and conversation was punctuated by the steady stream of Kawasaki's and BMWs.
Before you could say SUPERCALAFRAGALISTICXPALIDOUCIOUS (spell check that if want!) we were off again. We were starting to realise that this was going to be a Deja Vue hash as we ran along the same trail we came in on. This shows admirable economy of flower (and effort!) by the hare, but can be a little demotivating for finely tuned athletes desperate to break new ground (well it might have been had we had any finely tuned athletes with us). We eventually made our way down the far side of the valley expecting to work our way back to the starting point when we came to a check. All roads seemed to lead in the opposite direction to where we wanted to go, and one by one we found that all roads lead to a cross. All except one of course. Yes, you guessed it, the correct trail went UP. AND UP and surprise surprise almost all the way back to the beerstop, before we re-joined the walkers trail and sauntered down to the lake the easy way.
So having not hashed in this area before (according to Prestressed), we can now say that we have run some of these trails four or five times!
Back at the starting point we reassembled for the circle and general merriment. We had a quick circle as we needed to get to the restaurant (or so we thought!)
Hares; Gorgeous Edna & Prestressed
Farty Bum for being too drunk to see her present
Virgins: Paul and Sue
Returners: Ulf and Camilla, Tidal Dave,
Madame Mouton (Virgin Mouth deputised) for getting Virgin Mouth's birthday wrong
Birthdays: Virgin Mouth again
Val for claiming that 5 inches is not very much!
SOTW: Perpetual Motion for numerous crimes, mainly being himself. Close second went to Prestressed
With the circle closed, the gumball rally started up the hill and back to Les Adrets for the ONON. The rush seemed to have been unnecessary as almost all the wine had been drunk before the entré was served 45 mins after arriving. However, no one seemed to mind the slow service as the food was good and the company even better. Another lovely day on the Riviera, and at a fraction of the cost of an F1 ticket!
There were virgins of various types on this weeks hash. First of all this was a virgin trail set by a semi! virgin trail setter, Gorgeous Edna aided by Prestressed. More virgins were Paul and Sue now living permanently in France and the final virgin, myself as this is the first walkers report I have done.
Fortunately the sun was shining and the temperature perfect for the walk around Les Adrets. All present and correct apart from perpetch who had gone AWOL.
We set off along virgin territory passing Lac de l'Avellan which isn't in fact a lake but a large pond as it has no outlet.We then veered off up steep inclines on and on and on. The wild flowers were out in all their glory and we had difficulty avoiding them as we admired the spectacular views of the Esterel.
At last we saw the best sign ever - B for "BEER". The beer stop was where Perpetch finally caught up with us having somehow got lost on the way.
Off we set on the downhill route back to the meeting point, with Perpetch in tow.The circle, like this report was extremely short, the songs were even shorter, which for many was a welcome relief, as we had to dash off to the restaurant.
Naturally, Perpetch got the title of SOTW for not finding us until the beer stop, but almost lost out to Stuart.
The only mishap was the one incurred by Madam Mouton, who managed to fall over and break her ribs early on in the walk. However, in spite of severe pain, she did manage to stay for the meal and was driven home by Farty Bum. Awards for martyrdom and Angel of Mercy are under serious consideration.
Lundy Island 9-11 August 2013
Run 736 18 August 2013
UK Nash Hash 23-26 August 2013
Corsica 2013. 25th-29th September
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R*n 731: NEXT HASH 9-Jun
10:00 for 10:30
DIRECTIONS TO GATTIERES
From the Var/Cannes/Antibes/Villeneuve-Loubet, etc.:
The easiest and quickest way to get to Gattières from this direction is on the A8 (direction Nice), and get off at Exit 51.1. After Exit 51 (Nice Airport) get into RH lane and drive slowly watching for a green sign marked GRENOBLE/DIGNE with a white sign underneath indicating CARROS/MERCANTOUR. Exit here -- this is NOT a toll exit! This leads onto a dual carriageway (D202 bis). After about 7 km, follow the slip road marked CARROS. At the end (roundabout) take the exit marked GATTIERES/ST JEANNET (D2210). After 100m there is another roundabout, follow GATTIERES. Continue uphill for about 1 km, take 3rd road to right (Rue des Grillons). This leads up to a traffic light for the one-way system across a bridge. After the bridge there is a small roundabout, turn right and park in chemin de la Bastide, by the school.
From Nice on the A8 :
Exit St Isidore and turn right onto the D202. Go straight ahead (long road!) following signs for CARROS, then turn left over the bridge (PONT DE LA MANDA). At roundabout, go straight ahead following GATTIERES/ST JEANNET. Continue as above.
From Nice on the RN7:
After the airport, take the next right marked GRENOBLE/DIGNES and keep going straight ahead (D202), following DIGNES/CARROS. At the PONT DE LA MANDA, cross the bridge and follow the above instructions.
Please let the hares know by Saturday evening at the latest if you will be staying for the lunch. This will start at 1.30 pm LATEST, at the Hostellerie Provençale, Gattières, (in the lovely garden, if nice weather). We have negotiated their delicious daube with polenta, plus apricot tart, plus 1/4 wine each, plus coffee, for 20 euros. I have reserved trout for three vegetarians. Speak up immediately if you are more than three!
Mme Mouton 06 20 92 61 43
Sadist 06 87 09 54 32