RIVIERA HASH TRASH 727
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Run Report 727: Up and Down-Down in Vallauris




The glorious Provincial spring day was claimed to have been brought to you by Harriette, Just-Jen - the Gringa - not to be confused with Just-Jen, the Canadian Not-Cougar who was reported to be Not Hunting somewhere in the southwest of France. In any case, it was welcomed by all, particularly by her co-Harriette, No Grappa, who definitely had a Good Hare Day, following days of exploring the Hash possibilities of Vallauris, a previously Hash-forgotten city tucked away in the hills between Cannes and Antibes.

At Padre's starting whistle, 25-30 Hashers climbed aboard the 727 and sped off to the middle of town, the runners, of course - immediately losing the trail. The Harriettes began immediately to demonstrate their truthfulness that the run would include some up-and-down, as the runners ambled around long enough to give the clever walkers a decent head start into the foothills of the center of town.

It began as a gentle rollercoaster, but shortly we climbed a hill which continued to hill-billy right to the pass where the cars roll over from the A8. At that point, I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking falsely that we had reached top and could go no further. Ah, but those clever Harriettes had more in store, and we simply crossed the road and continued our climb - by this time everyone was walking.

Again we reached a peak, and thought it was all down-hill from there, but no, another stiff incline immediately greeted us, hauling us to a small forest park where reputed Roman ruins lay. Indeed there were some stone walls attesting to the curious lack of wisdom of planting a community of Romans on this lonely hilltop, far from pizza delivery from the city below. No wonder they moved down the hill.

We also obliquely headed vaguely down through a forest where the trail was once again in ruins, this time non-existent, Head Harriette, No Grappa calling back the runners to civilization. The walkers had apparently taken a more civilized route.

Thus, the runners followed a road down-down to a tennis court, where once again, we plunged into the bushes and trees, laterally moving back toward town, and more importantly, toward the Beerstop, where about half the walkers were already imbibing of the drink of choice (Panache?) and chips - which The Dutchess wisely declared the best food on the planet given their ingredients of salt, oil, and fat, to which Padre explained that this was why he generally licked the salt off and put the chips back in the bag (a word of warning in case he ever offers you a chip!).

Having recovered, we all continued our rollercoaster ride down through the center of town and back to the runway from which we took off. Due to the fact that the terrain obliged even the most vigorous runners to walk, the 727 landed late, and so the Circle was abbreviated to hustle off to the restaurant. Obligatory down-downs were provided to:

  • The Harriettes: No Grappa and Just-Jen (the Gringa - not the Not-Cougar Canadian)


  • Returners: Finnish Fly, Procol, and Wetspot


  • Visitor: Frigid Hole, rising from the Phoenix Hash, who announced that she had come to the Riviera to avoid the pricks of cactus, only to discover that there were plenty of pricks on our Hash.


  • Farty Bum and Wetspot for recovering their missing mugs.


  • Shit-of-the Weak was quickly and unanimously granted to Prestressed for some undeclared misdemeanor, his only challenger being a barely damp Wetspot for philosophizing on the Harriettes' instructions: "arrows are always right', except when they are left; and "Arrows do not lie", except on the ground.

    While the necessity to reach the restaurant in time for a sumptuous lunch cut short the frivolities of the Circle, lest you breathe too big a sigh of relief, I offer the following list of Virtual Down-Downs for the record:

  • Sneaky Bastard, living up to his name, as well as a significant covey of other walkers who managed to walk straight past the cleverly disguised beer van (Farty Bum's standard French box, substituting for Pedo's truck filled with all manner of Hash crap) - and completely missed the Beerstop!


  • Procol for voluntarily running an extra loop at the Beerstop when he should have been drinking.


  • Jen-No Name - the Gringa - not the NOT Cougar, for losing half the walkers as Harriette.


  • On the order of "no good deed will go unpunished", GM Perpetual Motion who used his perpetual motion to push a car out of the parking lot (perhaps to gain another space for the Hash); and


  • Wetspot for saving Prestressed's side-kick (literally), Dyson, from being devoured by a hungry boxer who climbed under his fence with evil intentions, and but was discouraged by some severe whacks to the nose with the tiny run-report notebook, demonstrating that run reports can serve a useful purpose other than note our nonsense.


It was a very good day, in deed and otherwise. Thanks to the Harriettes for an excellent flight aboard the 727, complete with a better meal than any of us has ever had on an airplane!

On-On Wetspot


Away Weekends
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R*n 728: NEXT HASH 28-Apr

DIRECTIONS to VENUE VEREZZO Italy- in the countryside just behind San Remo
Sunday 28th April, 2013
meet at 1030 for a 11H00 start

Hares : Wuff Diva and Sadist

By Car:

For those of you with a tomtom, plug in Strada Poggio Radino, (San Donato) San Remo Italy 18038 IM
For those coming from the Var, Cannes, Mandelieu, Nice:
-get on the autoroute heading towards Italy
-after passing the border (Fr-I), go ~19km and take San Remo exit, pay toll (~3.60 euros), follow the autoroute access road down to the STOP.
-turn left on Via Padre Semeria, continue straight on, passing the petrol station on left, and follow road down (~3.8km) direction towards the sea.
-At the bottom of this road, at the signal go left onto the Aurelia SS1, follow this road along the coast (~ 2.5km), through San Remo, passing the fountain
-the road eventually takes a left and goes up 140m to a round-about; go right.
-continue straight for 400m, passing the police station on right, train station and commune on your left, to a signal that doesn't work!!, indications there on Left corner for VEREZZO. (note basket ball court on left, and maybe some balloons to catch your attention).
-Take this left, follow the road (via Duca degli Abruzzi) up, there's a slight right turn 140 m into the road, otherwise just follow it up for about 5 km, passing under the autoroute, into the valley, and eventually you will reach a T junction (a pizza restaurant and little Tabac on the right corner) and sign San Donato pointing left,
-turn left and you are on Strada Poggio Radino which is your destination and will be marked with balloons. Find parking along the road but not on the curve.

travel time from Nice is 1 hour.

By Train:
I had mentioned the possibility of the train. Looking at the schedule, there is really only one train on Sunday morning which will get you to Sanremo for the meet by 1030;
dep from Nice 8.25 (there are connections to Nice from Cannes, and Mandelieu) arr Ventimiglia 913 change trains---a bit of a wait, time for a good cappucino!!! :-P dep Ventimiglia 9.48 arr San Remo 10.02
If you are going to take this train we can pick you up at San Remo station- so let Sadist know by email (richardwilson@orange.fr) for a return train, there is a better selection, essentially one every 30minutes after 17H with the last train going at 20H11 from Sanremo. Connections in Ventimiglia to France go every 30 minutes, at 17 and 47 minutes past the hour.

For map go to
http://pininthemap.com/ppd04a4103e7b266a42

See you there!!!