RIVIERA HASH TRASH 702
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Lou Papier

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NEXT RUNTosspot & Pedo

R*N REPORT
Perpetch - runners
Contessa - Walkers

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Never Cums

Run No. 702 Report
Sophia
Hare: Jobsworth


Runners report

The pack assembled on a very warm and humid morning in Sophia. It was good to see friends we have not seen for a while including Wedgie and Joyrider who also managed to bring some Dublin weather with them – eventually. Despite the venue only the very start and finish was on concrete.

We entered the woods after only a couple of minutes and with it some welcome shade. Last time we were in this area there were, if not raging torrents, fast flowing streams. The change in landscape plays with your mind a bit. Pleasant woodland tracks could not last forever and they did not. The hare thoughtfully led us through an outside toilet where there was plenty of crap but no actual toilet. Thanks Jobsworth! We arrived at a view stop; an old Roman viaduct. Some of us thought the beer stop may be just round the corner as they had been located there on previous hashes. Not this time and we still had a distance to go starting with negotiating a stream which did contain water. Up and down we ran until finally we reached the foot of the final climb before the beer stop. Perpetch and Ferby led the way passing many of the walkers on the way. At the top it was just a short run to the beer stop. The track also led to a hospital which was just as well as some hashers were on the point of requiring serious medical attention. The youngest of the pack, however, Ferby and Flower Power were in no distress whatsoever. Music came from the Grog truck. Beer and Beethoven was a welcome break from our exertions.

The On In was mercifully short as dark rain clouds were increasingly menacing and more important we were knackered. We just about managed to complete the Circle before the heavens opened and as we were right next to Jobsworth and Never Cums slum, the venue for the On On, a total change of clothes was avoided. The BBQ, as you would expect, was yum. Many congratulations to Jobsworth for haring solo and to the RA for timing the arrival of bad weather to perfection.

Walkers Report

Jobsworth and Never Cums Forest Ramble , July 22, 2012 as reported by Contessa


The faithful RHHH clan assembled for an 11AM start in Sophia on the Ave. St. Philippe (I bet Pedo had something to do with this street naming… can you imagine a St. Pedo! !). We’d met here before, its right outside the penthouse apt. on the edge of the forest where Never Cums and Jobsworth live, in the center of Sophia residential area.

We were abt. 25 on this hot, sunny morning including some visitors from the UK (Birmingham area) – Never Cum’s (Ailsa) sister Jan, her husband Simon and four cooperative, well behaved when not tardy, teenage sons Tim, Sam, Jon, Pete.

Also joining the Start after a long RHHH absence were:
  • the Eternal Flirt Merrydick (boy that’s such a brilliant name for him!), who is on a return trip from his international cavorting in Malaysia… but you have to give him credit for looking up former notorious Hashers Jim Raper (an RHHH founding member) and Tim, formerly of Valbonne Security. I prefer that MerryDick applies his sleuthing skills to finding ‘ole naughty Hashers in Manila than bothering Hasherettes with probing sex questions! Supposedly JR is running with a Hash South of Manila and Tim is running a girlie bar, so says MerryDick, who sent Raper an email. So we’ll leave MerryDick on the case as private RHHH investigator.
  • Lazarus, the tall and friendly, now-and-then Hasher, accompanied by his charming little dog (who can flip potato chips off his nose)
  • Duck’s Arse was also present as a Returning runner (waiting now 12 years for his 50 Run Mug!)
  • Wedgie and Joy RideHer from Ireland (in their Klondike flap caps)
  • the swift kid Hashers grandson/daughter of Confusion. Louis (Furby) and Jemima, his charming, sportive sister(Flour Power). Furby was wearing his own homemade Hash t-shirt!

Walkers and runners set off in the same direction, soon disappearing on a forest path that led us on this shady ramble, sometimes a bit of sloping down and up, but 90 % through the cool forest accompanied by Cicadas chi chi chi,….. but still too hot for Confusion who turned back after 10 minutes and went off to join FlyMe and Never Cums in the even hotter kitchen to prepare the meal for the OnOn.

The trail was extremely well marked; wherever we might need to find a Walkers ‘W’ there was one. No one was lost, and we kept pretty much together. A special find: there was a Mirabelle tree on the path and everyone stopped to pick and munch on the wild fruit. We walked a few dried river beds, crossed some little bridges, and maneuvered a few minor ravines.

You can learn a lot when walking on a Hash. Talking with Iron Lady she told me about her trip around the world she has planned in September – from Fr to London to the USA (Miami, San Francisco), then off to New Zealand and a planned one week hike on a famous NZ rainforest trail, taking part in an Intl Hash and on and on for four months!. If she ends up in Hawaii, we expect a Hula demonstration in the Circle!

And before we knew it… Walkers and Runners arrived at the Beerstop. There was plenty of cold beer and chips under the shade of the trees. Ah, but one causality of the day was Lazarus who has a persistent back problem after four back surgeries; he slid on some gravel during the walk and seems to have jerked his back out of alignment, so he took a ride from the Beer stop and then disappeared off to a hospital, unfortunately missing the Circle and OnOn. And then there were a few who also took a ride back from the Beerstop and we wonder Why? such as Merrydick who seems to have spent all his energy flirting so he bummed a ride … or was saving his energy for further flirting during the On On!

After the Beerstop, the walk back to the Circle was another cool, forest ramble; there is so much to discover on foot crossing Sophia Antipolis. Now and then panting runners passed walkers on the same path. Young Furby kept on the heels of Padre like a rabbit chasing a hound , the two setting a very respectable pace. The Runners report from Perpetch should give all the details.

Jobsworth our Hare did a faultless job of looking after everyone, popping up here and there like a garden elf toting a flour canister to assure we were all on track. The course finished coming up the road and back on to Ave. St. Philippe. Big storms were rolling in from the Grasse area. The sky turned a dark blue, raindrops were falling and thunder cracked overhead. So we had an abbreviated Circle in the woodsy area just below Jobsworth/Never Cums apt.

Down Downs went to:

Hares: Jobsworth and Never Cums

Returners: Ducks Arse, Merrydick, Ferby, Flour Power, the missing Lazarus, Wedgie and Joy RideHer

Flower(Flour) Power received a drink on the head for something by Padre

Late Comers just to the Circle and On On : Two Cheeky and Sergio, Farty Bum and Mad Max who brought along the cherubic grandchildren

For taking a ride in the car: Merrydick and Merry Mouton

the Shit of the Week nominees were
Wedgie (for sending Gaelic emails at all hrs of the night)
Coco ( ‘fashion victim’for wearing a purple bandana and holding a matching purple umbrella,note: this was really Contessa’s fault… it was her bandana and umbrella! )
The 3rd nominees were the power kids of Ferby and Jemima. Furby nominated Flower Power for “whinging” and then got nominated himself for such an unkindness to his sister

And the winner was Wedgie who received the loudest howl. AH but he somehow he cooly slipstreamed out of this SOTW down down and Coco took it instead ! Contessa was asked to administer this SOTW beer to Coco, but he took the phallic vessel and practically self- administered his own down down.

And then as rain and rumbling thunder were forcing us to finish up quickly we closed the Circle and took refuge in the spacious and modern apartment of Jobsworth, Never Cums and their big friendly white dog (who has a habit of following guests into the elevator)! The large screen TV brought us Live coverage of the Tour de France as it was finishing on the Champs Elysses with of course, for the first time English winners! Another reason to celebrate. “We need this” commented FlyMe who looked lovely and was in good spirits.

Meanwhile out on the awning -covered terrace, out of the rain, Smiling Simon was grilling on the BBQ for all of us and we helped ourselves to Never Cum’s delicious cooking: salads, cheese and desserts. Padre was collecting deposits for the Away Spa Weekend in Italy.

Two Cheeky was resting on a chaise recliner, in top spirits anticipating giving birth in abt one week’s time. Her stomach is so large it looks like she swallowed the whole beer stop, coolers too!
Speaking of big... Sergio’s tales are too… trying to convince me that he was on his way to Hollywood, California in one week. Two Cheeky hearing this had a good laugh and set him straight, “You’re not going anywhere but to the hospital in Grasse with me!!”

Meanwhile inside FB and Mad Max were chasing after their charming cherubic grandchildren; little Sophie and Jonathan who tip-toed barefoot through the house and terrace now and then turning to flash an adorable little smile. A real joy to watch. Come to think of it, we had all ages at this On On, from the pre-born to 17 months to 17 to 70!

And so it was, the Jobsworth &Never Cums Hash and On On ! The next Hash will be set by Tosspot, and don’t tell anyone, but this is also his 60th birthday celebration… so not to be missed!


Away Weekends
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Gothenburg Hash - First week of September 2012 Gothenburg Hash
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R*n 703: NEXT HASH 5 -Aug

meeting 11.00 for 11.30 start

take the A8 towards cannes ( that's the big motorway thingy), get off at the cannes exit and instead of taking the 1st exit off the roundabout, you take the third probably marked" Grasse". This brings you onto the penetrante cannes grasse, I think you take the first exit after a few kilometres on the right of course, and if you are now on the road marked "avenue de la valmasque" then you are on the right trail, otherwise you are on your own, buy a map, get to know the area, you should be ashamed after all this time down here!!
straight down the "avenue de la valmasque" through a roundabout and the 1st right after the roundabout followed by 2nd right onto promenade de l'etang, follow this road until you pass the etang on your right and than turn into a big parking and go right to the far end of the parking.
After a gentle stroll through the park de la valmasque, you will all be invited to a picnic, where you will get to eat all kind of nice things which are probably not good for your health but who cares, refreshment in the form of beer, panaché, different colored wines and lots of softies will be provided, and last but not least champagne as it's tosspot's birthday, yes that's right even at 93 he still celebrates his birthday ( any excuse for a pissup )
These instructions are provided for your personal care and hygiene and are in no way contractuel, anybody who gets lost, has an accident, gets murdered, mugged or raped will have no legal recourse against the authors of these instructions who are not considered to be legally responsible for their actions.
If you get to Marseille, Paris Lyon or Genoa then you are probably not on the right road, turn round and come back, and stop whining !!

when in doubt call me , pedo on 06 14 76 38 23