RIVIERA HASH TRASH 694
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The Equinox has passed and spring was just beginning to show her lovely face amidst the rocky crevices of the Esterel, precisely 4.8km east of the Théoule-sur-Mer stoplights. A group of nearly 30 April Fools gathered at a ridiculously small parking lot to celebrate Long & Hard's inaugural effort as a HARE.
Fully aware that she was unaware of the subtleties of Haring, she cleverly enticed Padre to mentor her, and they spent a blissful four days exploring the territory and setting the trail together. André Previn was also announced as a Hare, and presumably provided a threesome to guide the misguided walkers.
From the beginning, we began to have some doubts: after all those beatific hours tromping around the Virgin Mary statue, Padre announced some subtle changes. There is a wonderful phrase in Spanish, 'fijasé', which could be translated, 'would you believe?', and is always followed by a lame excuse why something went wrong. So, fijasé, the parking lot where we were going to start from suddenly fell into the abyss. Now that's a good one! Then it was fijasé the gate which was always open, was closed the day of the run. And also, fijasé the restaurant was closed. Thus, after 4 days of effort, Padre and Long-and Hard were still improvising.
Following these rather unnerving directions, the walkers - in great numbers, of course, wandered off in one direction, and the 8-9 runners ran down the hill to the intersection with the main road. As an aside, arriving at that particular crossroads opened a load of very foggy but pleasant memories for me as the site of a circle some years back where I foolishly volunteered to stand in for the absent Padre at his Birthday Hash, and following at least a dozen down-downs, barely made it home. But I digress..
After some diligent searching of the many possible avenues, much of it by a typically energetic Dingus on what will be his and Sudsuckers' last run for a while, the runners trundled along a flat road back into the hills. At this point, I will express apologies to the entire pack for the relative absence of reports of on-trail behavior of almost anyone: it was my first attempt at running in 5 months, and in general, I lagged dismally behind the valiant runners, and never saw the walkers except at the beerstop.
It is important to point out, however, that on this particular run, the main distinction between the runners and the walkers was that the runners were willing to run if the territory permitted and the walkers had no intention of running. The flat bit disappeared fairly quickly, and the runners turned their sights to the heavens and trudged long and hard back up the mountain, and wove around the hills and down to a beerstop. Being a laggard, and discovering that at certain points, Padre had coached Long and Hard a little too well, and flour was scarce. (an editorial for wannabe Hares - marks on confusing intersections are a good thing!). Fortunately, Long and Hard had left her walking stick and had regressed to retrieve it, and so we were the last to wander into the beerstop which was set on the edge of civilization.
Following ample time to drink some courage, the whistle blew and the runners and walkers mingled some together until eventually the walkers got religion and found a direct route back to the Virgin Mary while the runners meandered around a hilly suburb for a while trying to find their way out of civilization.
The path lead way up and then down past the Blesséd Virgin and parallel to the coast above the main road, slipping gracefully over the ridge to our tiny parking lot. Sadist refused to run even on the flat part as it was full of uneven nasty stones. I was convinced of the wisdom of this strategy as twice during the run, I tripped and muff-dived on Mother Earth (for which I was later given a down-down as a Lemming).
All-in-all, it was a Long and Hard run/walk. The Hares claimed that the trail was 8km with a couple more for false trails. Dingus displayed his enthusiasm by managing to over-check, and ran 12km.
We did celebrate with copious down-downs:
The Hares, of course.
Farty Bum had complained that the previous run report biased rugby, as opposed to rugged North American events such as curling, thus 5 North Americans lifted their mugs to curling.
Wetspot for imitating a Lemming.
Pedo for his miserable imitation of Welsh sheepshit.
Virgin Mouth and Dire Rear for malfunctioning walking sticks
Directionally challenged Farty Bum and Jennifer la blonde
Sudsucker was awarded a mug for her 100th Run.
Licky Dicky and Virgin Jo for getting WAY LAID on the way to the run
Returnees: No Grappa, Dancing Scrubber, Dirty Dingus, Sudsucker, SuperMarket Trolley, Wetspot and maybe others.
From there we were off to the stand-in restaurant on the beach which was quite adequate. Long and Hard was appropriately delighted with her success as a Virgin Hare, accompanied by her husband, Short and Soft.
It was a great afternoon, and many thanks to the Hares!
ZH3 Black Magic Weekend - 8th - 10th June 2012
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R*n 694: NEXT HASH 15 -Apr