RIVIERA HASH TRASH 669
édition électronique en plus!

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Never Cums

This is to inform you that Wendy/Big End has finally lost her brave fight with Pancreatic Cancer.
She died, peacefully, Saturday morning, being well looked after to the end, in St. Gemmas Hospice.

Thank you to all who made the last year and a bit easier to bear.
More details later when I know what is happening.

Padre

A big Thank You


I would just like to thank all of those hashers who sponsored my 10K run and donated to Cancer Research UK. I really, really appreciate it.

If you haven't donated and you'd like to, it's not too late, just go to: www.justgiving.com/Ailsa-Emmott.

Thank you. Never Cums

Hasher gone to heaven


And so Big End has departed us to join the Great Hash in the Sky. 'Tis true that she used the excuse of illness for not cumming for over a year, but the hash forgave her and even had a group down down in her place. That was pretty sympathetic of us in the circumstances.

A good crowd gathered by the church in Valbonne to remember Big End in the only way we know how ? no, not by praying but by running a well worn route (or so we thought!). If her saintly behaviour had not been enough to propel her through the pearly gates, a number of hashers were on hand in their '666 run' devil's t shirts to give her a warm welcome at the other end of the eternal trail.

For once, the runners were quite numerous, bolstered by returners and visitors, whilst the walking brigade was large as ever. Quick explanations over & we were off. Walkers down to the Brague and runners through Valbonne, of course, because we ALWAYS do that. Fortunately, most runners realised that this was a neat ruse from Supermarket Trolley, but not all.....Tidal Dave & Perpetch did not catch the pack up for a good 15 minutes after exploring the delights of Valbonne!

So, having rumbled the dastardly plan to visit Valbonne, the runners were entertained by a big climb up the hill to the back of Sophia Antipolis - and lots of very, very long falsies to slow them down. The climb was fiendish and known to some of the hard core as part of the half marathon training route. In any case, Cumalot once again proved hi Energizer Bunny ad instincts (or is it Duracell?) by running way ahead of everyone, only to slow down when the climb ended.

- The long falsies ensured that the FRBs kept swapping places regularly. Dingus was (of course) always in front, but not always on the right trail. Macao visitor Lost in Space (think that is his name - apologies if not!) heard Dingus whistling & had to be held back from following by Sud Sucker who patiently explained that Dingus always runs through falsies. Sure enough, a few minutes guarding the check proved Sud Sucker's wisdom as Dingus returned from whence he had disappeared.

Eventually, the hill petered out and the flour followed a maze of trails down to the Brague. One particularly sheeping moment saw Dingus (again) going the wrong way over the river - on stepping stones, not walking on water as some might have thought - with everyone following him, even though there was no check & the trail required no such athleticism. But Prestressed showed the correct way, or, rather, Dyson did. Dyson is a small Jack Russel with ideas of being very, very big. So he decided to pick a fight with two big dogs that had been playing in the Brague. Early reports are that Dyson won.....

Fun in the Brague over, it was time to climb again, this time to the Air France building that has been beautifully built in perfect harmony with the local countryside.....and I thought that Slough is ugly! Not long after Air France, the pack met a fretting hare who declared that, as we had been too slow, she had shortened the first half. Nobody complained and we followed the signs to the beer car. But.....once there, the hare instructed Pedo to drive a good 300 metres away so that the walkers, poor little mites, did not have so far to go to reach it. The exhausted and dehydrated pack was in outrage but this quickly dissipated with the arrival of Walkers Crisps (not chips, Farty Bum).

The hare had shortened the first half because she was worried about being late for the meal. However, this was not needed as the walkers took what felt like 30 minutes more to reach the beer stop, so allowing the runners to scoff all the food. Dingus sportingly gave the walkers 2 minutes to recuperate before setting everyone off on the second half.

The runners gained an addition at this point in the form of Dire Rear, who decided to show everyone that she has been practicing for a triathlon & keeping ahead of the pack. Well, she did so for 2 minutes at least!

The second half kept close to the first, without ever actually crossing over (unless you were Dingus). Eventually, we were back in Valbonne and it was but a short climb to the start. Once there, the runners had to again wait for the walkers and, in certain cases, wait an incredibly long time for the walkers. Jingle Balls & Sneaky B'start were especially slow but the accolade to lateness goes to the virgin in the Panama Hat (apologies because I did not retain your name), who had still not returned as the circle closed and we headed to the restaurant.

And so to the circle. It seems that Farty Bum had been complaining about the song repertoire, so Dingus gamely RAed by only singing one song for all down downs.
As ever, memories are hazy, so no responsibility is taken for naming & shaming the wrong people.
No show - Big End. It's been a while since she came, which is a pretty criminal offence. Now that she has passed onto the other side, we figured that it was time to give her a down down for this severe crime. RIP, Big End, you will be missed.
Hares - Confusion & Supermarket Trolley for a great trail that was good, honest hard work to complete.
Mugless - Farty Bum & Jobsworth.
50th run mug - Merrydick (it took him 20 years to get this far, so roll on to the 100th mug!)
New shoes - Cumalot.
Many misdemeanours that my lawyer has now put a gagging order on me reporting.
Returners - Cumalot, Jobsworth, Fairy Plongeur, ***** (sorry, another gagging order).
Visitors - Space Cowboy/Lost In Space (or something similar) on a flying visit from Macao.
Virgins - Liz & Mr Panama Hat.
Shit of the week - there were some very weak nominations, but the winner by a country mile was Prestressed, whilst Pedo gamely came second to give him some competition. The honours were administered by Liz the virgin and, at Prestressed's insistence, to the sound of 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' coming from his Samsung iClone.

Circle closed, it was time for the restaurant and the best Indian food that Valbonne can offer, hopefully not with the after effect usually suffered when eating the same on the sub continent.



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R*n 670: NEXT HASH 29 -May

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