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Never Cums


Was it the perfect weather or the promise of another home cooked On On, that for the second Hash in succession, brought hashers out in their droves, with the Brits, French and North Americans all well represented. We even had a virtual hasher in the form of Sadist, who decided that rather than exert himself on the run, he would enjoy the winter sunshine from the comfort of his car whilst reading the Sunday Times. This concept could certainly catch on, especially on a cold wet Sunday afternoon in November. I'm really looking forward to day I can be a virtual hare.

The hare, Jobsworth, assured us the trail was well marked and that he had used up all his 17 bags of flour, what he failed to mention was that he'd given most of them to Never Cums for culinary purposes. With military precision, RA for the day, Perpetual Motion, on the stroke of 11h30, set us on our way. The runners did the obligatory circuit of the village and back to the car park before breaking into open countryside. The first half of the run was an up and down affair, with many more ups than downs. No doubt with me in mind, the hares thoughtfully built in lots of shiggy into the trail, with several runners doing a plausible impression of Mud Wrestler, having slid down a long wet muddy hill, only to find a cross, then having to scramble back up to the top of the hill on our hands and knees. Looking down at my uniformly chocolate (or words to that effect) brown trainers, I was very glad that on the last minute that I had decided to wear my "ancient" trainers instead of my usual "old" ones. After the very helpful co-hare had led us astray for the umpteenth time, the runners decided that no hare was better than a permanently lost hare. Eventually we made it to the beer stop only to find three of the walkers, namely Too Cheeky, Dire Rear and Tosspot, had beaten us to it. Was this an indication of their superior fittest over the other walkers? No, it was a sign of their superior intelligence, with the aptly named Confusion having led the rest of the walkers straight passed the empty car park, in which was parked a solitary 4 x 4 blue car, otherwise known as the beer car, on a additional two mile route march, another Perpetch in the making perhaps. Having scoffed most of a giant bag of ready salted crisps, ably helped by Farty Bum and having downed a bottle of beer, anticipating the normal gentle ten minute stroll back to the start, I was shocked to hear Jobsworth telling Too Cheeky that this really was a hash of two halves, with the second leg taking around one hour, provided one ran at a steady 4 min/mile pace. The hares clearly wanted us to work for our supper. The second half of the trail had its fair share of shiggy, fortunately most of it was down hill, with the saving grace that there was a one mile stretch at the end on tarmac, presumably included with Road Runner in mind.

Downs Downs

Hares: Jobsworth and Cum a Lot
Beer spillage: Tom-Killian
Virtual hashing: Sadist
Short cutting: Golden Showers, Road Runner, No Grappa, Woof Diva, Fly Me
Late comers: Road Runner and Anne
Returners: Lickie Dickie, Virgin Mouth, Saddle Sniffer, Rubber Maid
Virgins: Xavier, Tom-Killian, Serge
Nominations were Farty Bum for dumping others in it, Perpetch for being selectively deaf and Dancing Scrubber for abusing others hashers.
Result: Farty Bum was a very popular and worthy winner, with Dancing Scrubber a close second.

Then it was off the Chez Jobsworth for the On On. Never Cums had prepared a scrumptious meal which was very much appreciated by the hungry hashers.

A big thank you to the hares Jobsworth and Cum a Lot for setting the trail and particular thanks go to Never Cums, for performing the catering duties so well.

Monaco 23.5k, 10k, 7k or 3k. 20th March 2011
Details here.

Ensemble avec Benoit. 5k or 10k run for charity. 27th March 2011
Details here.

Eurohash 2011 in the Hague, 27th - 29th May 2011
Details here.

Try this link to find information regarding the Belgium Interhash bid for 2014.
Book early and obtain a good price. (If they win the bid)
To see what world hash events are coming up, check out this website:
Hash events.
Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!

Look left
R*n 663: NEXT HASH 20 -Feb

The next Hash Extravaganza, or run if you prefer, is the annual Mimosa Run, brought to you by Harley Di, the specialist in legal matters ( she's a lawyer), and Pedo, the specialist in absolutely nothing.

The run will be at Tanneron, 10.30 meeting for a 11.00 start, and you must be on time, cos the resto is booked for 14.30, and if we arrive late we pay a supplement because the staff have all got better things to do than wait for a bunch of lazy hashers.

TO GET TO THE MEETING PLACE : from the highway NICE - AIX, take the exit n° 41 (set the counter to 0). Follow the signs PEGOMAS. Turn left (after 9 kms or so) on the D 309 towards Tanneron. When you arrive at the Valcros "lieudit" (junction D38 / D 138), turn left and straight away on the right on the small Chemin de la Verrerie. Drive one kilometer or so till you see on the right a panel "gites communaux". Take the turning and park next to the beautiful "bastide"... ready to enjoy (suffer, according to Pedo!) a 3 hours walk/run!

These are the instructions from Harley Di, so I'll do a translation:
By highway NICE-AIX, she means the A8, everybody's favourite motorway, I think she watches too many american series on the telly.
Once you get off the A8 there are 2 roads up to Tanneron, so you get a choice, and just before you enter the town of tanneron there is a crossroad with a parking on your right, with recycling bins and other assorted garbage containers, so you can park here while you worry about getting lost and then you turn left, and go down a hill.
For Too Cheeky, just aim towards the west and when you get lost call me, as usual.

If these instructons inspire a sense of "déja vu" it's because they are the same instructions as last year, so that those of you who got lost last year can get lost again this year, in exactly the same place!

Any probems with your tax returns call harley di, but she's very expensive, or if it's with the instructions, or because you want someone to talk to, call me on 06 14 76 38 23, and try to do it before I get to tanneron because I seem to remember from last year that the mobile phone reseau up there leaves a lot to desire.