RIVIERA HASH TRASH 658
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Twas the hash before Christmas and all was quiet in the Valmasque. Unfortunately, this was due to hashers being as thin on the ground as turkeys on Boxing Day rather than to snow and magical fairy dust. The Christmas hash overload was showing after the xmas dinner extravaganza the previous week and, probably, due to the early-ish start.
But, no fear, the assembled crowd was merry and waiting for a romp around the park. Unfortunately, there were only 2 runners, being the evergreen (or everred given his later Santa appearance) Sadist and , er, Jobsworth. Cum Cum decided that it was her duty to recruit extra hashers from the assorted joggers but gave up after declaring that the ones she accosted were "too handsome to be hashers". Hmmmppphhh....you still cum coz you love us!
The run started on time, with the intrepid few following flour and falling at the last hurdle. A combination of sun in the eyes and VTTers on trail meant that the flour was lost within 3 minutes. After exhaustive searching, it was refound but unfortunately not in the correct place. Seems like we missed a big loop!
Mistake rectified, the runners raced past the walkers and notably Virgin Mouth making a suspicious phone call in the middle of the forest. Thanks to the ever-helpful hare Tosspot, we were informed that the route would loop round the stadium. And that is where the problems started. The 2 runners split up and both discovered that the flour was set based on the principles of letting runners spread out to find it and of figuring out that it would be fun to lose the pack. It worked a treat; Sadist was never seen again (although Santa Claus appeared at the beer stop doing a good impression of him) and Jobsworth resorted to phoning the other hare (Pedo for those who want to know) for directions.
Having been told he was 5 minutes from the beer stop, Jobsworth proved his lack of orienteering skills by taking 20 minutes to get there after picking up the wrong park of the trail and looping round the stadium a second time. He finally limped in to the beer stop with walkers agitated by the wait but bizarrely unflustered by the lack of runners. Instead, they amused themselves by all managing to step in the same dog poo several times.
The second half was an amble back through the Valmasque, once again avoiding assorted runners and VTTists. Tosspot offered the walkers a shortcut back or the full on 30 minute loop and, bizarrely, they decided to take the long way home.
Once back at the start, it was the aforementioned Santa Claus who took over RA duties. As ever, nominations are hazy but here goes with a twisted take on the offences:
Hares Pedo & Toss Pot for a pleasant early morning jaunt
Various walkers for treading in the same dog poo at the beer stop
Sadist & Jobsworth for doing a pretty bad impression of following flour
Santa then opened his sack to give presents to some of the girls. Said presents were in the form of mugs and those that I recall went to Farty Bum and Cum Cum
I'm sure that Farty Bum ordered me to write more offences but I can?t remember them any more
And so it was to Sh*t of the Week. As Sneaky B'stard was in attendance, the award was easy. It went to him, of course!
And so it falls to me to wish all hashers, hashettes, hangers on, liggers and general populace a very merry Christmas and a hashy new year! Onon to Boxing Day and 2011.
Letters to the Editor
HHHi Mes Petit Hommes de Neiges,
With regard to Sue Pranova, (Superstar) and her question as to whether Honey Ryder from Dr. Maybe and Seamen Monster, from Dr. No, may or may not be related, (See Hash Trash, Corsica run report) I can categorically assure you they must be the same person.
I have had the honour of running with the Rivierah Hash since run number 12 until quite recently, (still the holder of the "most runs" completed. I really must get a life) and during that time I have never, ever observed both of these ladies in the same location at the same time.
I therefore conclude that Sue Pranova although close to the truth in that they may be related has actually missed the point and that they are indeed the same person.
Anyone have any other information?
Observant as always
Nice Prom' Classic - 9th January 2011
Nice to Monaco - 6th February 2011
Monaco 23.5k, 10k, 7k or 3k. 20th March 2011
Ensemble avec Benoit. 5k or 10k run for charity. 27th March 2011
Eurohash 2011 in the Hague, 27th - 29th May 2011
Try this link to find information regarding the Belgium Interhash bid for 2014.
Book early and obtain a good price. (If they win the bid)
To see what world hash events are coming up, check out this website:
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 659: NEXT HASH 26 -Dec
On Sunday 26th December 2010
A light easy going Hash which will relieve all that extensive eating and drinking from the previous days and nights. A delightful tour of the marinas and beaches that Mandelieu La Napoule offer the tourist - out of the tourist season.
Mince pies and yet more alcohol will follow but no restaurant due to me being rather too busy feeding people the day before and everyone being fed up with over eating!.
Meet at 12.00am for a 12.30am sharp start Mandelieu "Géant".
Leave A8 at Mandelieu Centre/La Napoule junction 40, get into the left hand lane and pass around the one way system on the N7 (direction Géant, golf and La Napoule) so the petrol station is always on your left. Get into the right hand lane and carry along Mandelieu main street, passing 2 sets of traffic lights, pass under a bridge and straight across at the roundabout with palm trees. At the next roundabout with tin statues playing golf take the 2nd exit so the BP garage is on your right. Carry a few meters along dual carriageway to 1st slip road on your right marked "Géant Hypermarche". Go to end and turn right to Géant, turn right immediately at small roundabout towards petrol and park immediately.
Contact Hare on: 04 93 93 10 58 or 06 76 94 69 69 or email: firstname.lastname@example.org