RIVIERA HASH TRASH 654
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And so it came to pass, on the 14th day of the 11th month some 2010 years since our lord Gisbert (shome mishtake there?) was born that a run report was generated without fuss and with only a slight reminder from the Lord's anointed son now residing in Hungary. The Lord said "that's drivel, but it's better than nothing, so keep it up as I don't want to have to keep reminding you in ever more painful ways". And, lo, to make his point, the Lord Gisbert changed the sunny Côte d'Azur into a fog and rain clad mountain top and threatened that the runners would be lost there for 40 days and 40 nights should a report not be forthcoming.
The disciple Dirty Dingus decided to reach out to his Lord by setting the hash as high as possible in Gourdon. Together with co-disciple Sudsucker, they then set the path to hash heaven by climbing ever higher to the top of the Mountain. Following the route to the Lord were the 6 running disciples, who had come from far and wide to witness the spectacle of Lord Gisbert's natural beauty on earth, (not) armed with cameras to save the moment for posterity.
The path to the top of the Mountain was steep and difficult, for the Lord had decreed that the disciples should not make a direct passage to His kingdom. His preference was to lead them on false trails and through shiggy. And when things got too easy, he cunningly arranged for Dingus to lay flour on white rock in thick fog to ensure that the path to greatness was even more difficult to attain.
The disciples were tested heavily on the ascent. Perpetch proved himself by cycling from the coast and then racing past everyone; Jobsworth was bizarrely the front runner behind Perpetch, whilst Sadist was saving himself for the race down the Mountain. The remaining faithful were Pedo & Mad Max, who were saving energy by short cutting and Golden Showers, who is now a fully fledged running disciple.
Once atop the Mountain, the Lord G played a devious trick on His faithful. His favoured Dingus had promised spectacular views of the coast and, in particular, of the wayward souls participating in the Devil's own sport, otherwise known as the Nice-Cannes marathon. But He was upset and so he had rewarded the disciples with rain all the way up the Mountain, followed by such a thick fog that the only view was of Dingus's fluorescent orange t shirt.
Unimpressed with the false promise, the disciples fled the summit lest worse be unleashed. Sadist was heard to say "I spent all my life believing in you Lord G; now you deceive me so go to hell". And so it came to pass that the disciples made it back down to the beer stop in one piece except for Sadist, whose arm was covered in blood despite his insistence that he had not fallen. The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
At the beer stop, the lesser disciples aka the walkers were proving that a hash really can feed the 5,000 with out of date crisps (chips for those not fortunate enough to be British).....for they had arrived earlier and with a less spiritual encounter they were proving that the supplies really are without end.
Feeding time over, the run started again with Dingus proving that he really was working miracles. Not one but two walkers decided to join the runners for the second half. First was Merrydick, who proclaimed that if certain of the runners were able to do it, so was he. Even more miraculous was Farty Bum, who threw away her sticks and became an FRB all the way back. Only sister Confusion was chastised by the Lord, for she decided to ignore Him and to wear a scarf around her head in protest at such antics.
The Lord decided to favour Perpetch thanks to his sprint to the top of the Mountain. And so it was that he became RA for the day. The scribe had been tasting too much communion beer, so the accuracy of the circle report is probably in line with much of the Old Testament (unless you are a Jehova's Witness).....meaning that it is good in intention and moral fibre, but lacking in strict interpretation of actual events!
Hares Dirty Dingus and Sudsucker
Visiting Cape Codder "I've a big/little wiener" (delete as appropriate), though on second thoughts maybe his hash name was something else. But for sure it has something to do with wiener!
Merrydick for his impressive poem about "There once was a chap from Cape Cod, who had an incredible *blank*"
Running walkers Merrydick and Farty Bum
Ummmmmm......I'm sure there were more nominations but the communion wine really has got to me!
And so to Sh*t of the week. The nominations were:
Sneaky B'stard on a rollover jackpot from last week, compounded by his admission that the night before he had had the most fun he had ever had in his life whilst in bed. Unfortunately, Jingle Balls looked very miffed when he revealed that it was from reading Michael Macintyre's autobiography!
Pedo for some very spurious jumped up charge
Jobsworth because Sneaky B wanted at least some tiny extra competition.
But it was to no avail. Sneaky B won convincingly and, once sat facing Mecca, was administered the winnings by the incredibly vigorous Farty Bum.
End of the hash book of Revelations.
(c) RHHH 2010
Xmas Hash bash - 4th December 2010
Monaco 23.5k, 10k, 7k or 3k. 20th March 2011
Ensemble avec Benoit. 5k or 10k run for charity. 27th March 2011
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Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 655: NEXT HASH 28 -Nov
Hares: Sneaky B, Jingle Balls, Golden Shower
Date:- Sunday, 28th November
Venue:- Car Park, Theoule-Sur-Mer
Time:- 9.30 for 10.00am
From east/west take exit 40 Mandelieu. Go through first set of traffic lights and get into left lane signed Mandelieu/Frejus, turning back past an Agip garage on the left. Once past garage, get into right lane (Av. de Cannes). Continue under bridge to roundabout and take 2nd exit, continue to next roundabout (statues of golfers) and take 2nd exit (Av. due Marechal Juin). Go along dual carriageway.
At next roundabout take 2nd exit (signed Theoule), Camping Argentiere on right\. Go past cemetary on left. Through traffic lights and come down hill.
At next roundabout take exit to Theoule (D2098). Follow coast road to centre of Theoule. At traffic lights turn right (Agence Galiere on the corner) into Av. Charles Dalon. Continue along this road, over small roundabout - car park is at the top of the road on the right.
On On .........