RIVIERA HASH TRASH 642
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Nice-Cannes marathon 14th November 2010.
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With love from Suckon (in absentia) and moi.
Pedo – Hare
Mud-Wrestler – Hash model
DireRear – Hash driveller
Tosspot – Hash knight, sapeur pompier , who rescued 5 lost walkers (how do you get lost on the Brague, and with a local resident (LR) by your side? I am not mentioning any names but this LR’s name begins with M and ends with R.
Golden Showers (lovely Lesley) – the Hash body
Farty Bum – Hash cash
Virgin Mouth – purveyor of yummy biccies from the world famous Geoffrey’s of London (actually based in Antibes, for the ingnoramus).
Confusion – Hash nash
Maneater – Hash trash, hash nosh assistant and visitor from down under
Skinny A – Hash baker (yummy cake).....Mud-Wrestler and DireRear were fighting over it. It was a brave hasher who asked for a slice and Confusion was told off for not letting them lick the box before throwing it away.
Pepe le Piou – (hash [eye] candy)
Prestressed – RA
Pedo said he had already done the Iron Man that morning so was wilting, and Mud Wrestler said she laid flour (maybe she meant flower!). Walkers were to ignore flour, runners had double arrows (sometimes but sometimes not – this walker understood nothing). And Big End’s name was taken in vain as someone said she had done the run several times.
As there was a minimal role call on account of 1 grand “pricks” and 1 world cup match (least said the better) + lots of lazy bastards, Pedo came through as usual to set the run (God, that man has stamina (and a great pot belly, but don’t tell the girls!)
Walk – Walking (more like marching, actually) along the Brague was wunderbar (or something, like that), as cool as a hot day can be in sunny Riviera, got lost in France and had to be rescued with 4 other hashers. I’ve been out of the country for 6 years but what is their excuse?
Pedo covered his usual hash terrain, but is anyone complaining? It was a stifling hot day so what better than a gentle stroll along the Brague, at least for the walkers.
Run – What happened to the runners? Yours truly has no idea. I’m a walking wanker, for God’s sake! They did turn up ... all THREE of them.... at the beer stop and then at the circle.
And what bloody marvellous food, thanks to Confusion doing the picque-nique (with great help from yours truly and Skinny A).
Hare – Pedo (and for being sexy and gorgeous, we’re not looking below the chest)
Hash Nosh – Confusion and Maneater
Returners – Maneater (who said she had been too busy down under)
Mud Wrestler (said only way to see husband on 36 year wedding anniversary, although not invited – he said he did not do so because she was wearing pyjamas to hash ...... wonder if he is still alive?)
Birthdays - Confusion, Pepe le Piou, Prestressed
Offenders - DireRear – non-stop chattering .... she did visit Budapest twice in less than two weeks so there was a lot to talk about.
Farty Bum, Virgin Mouth, Maneater, Mud Wrestler and DireRear for being directionally challenged.
Suckon (represented by Maneater) for letting his wife come without him Virgin Mouth – not just misleading the lost hashers but then passing the buck
Pedo and Mud-Wrestler – 38 years purgatory
Noosa badges were presented to Confusion, Too Cheeky and Perpetch (both absent) as they were at a Noosa hash in 2008. All other hashers will get theirs when they deign to visit the Noosa hash. Suckon and Maneater are waiting for them. Pedo took his life in his hands by daring to accuse SkinnyA of wearing new shoes. She made short shrift of that, turned the argument around and accused Prestressed et al of just about everything, and got away with it. How does she do it?
Shit of the Week
Nominees Pepe le Piou – wearing shirt of Les Bleus quand il est arrivé
Pedo – failure to provide champagne and taking his wife to hash on 36th wedding anniversary (Suckon would be mangled ..... SUCKON, WARNING, SHOULD YOU LIVE TO 90).
Prestressed – trying to drop SkinnyA in it with her shoes, seconded by Maneater for trying to get her not only to do the hash trash but also to be RA in absentia for Suckon.
Pepe le Piou won heads down for daring to soil the hash with memories of Les Bleus. Hash beer was administered rather inefficiently by Maneater – must come back more often, I’m getting out of practice.
As a last point, Tosspot gave the hash a new beer mat to replace the old mangled mat. DireRear proudly announced that she drew it from a model for him to cut out. Guess what it was?
And finally especially from me, Golden Showers was not given a down down but I think she ought to have had one for looking so good after all that running.
See you all next year when Suckon will do the run, RA, etc. etc.
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 643: NEXT HASH 11-Jul