RIVIERA HASH TRASH 634
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Monaco half Marathon/10km 21st March 2010.
Nice half marathon/10km 18th April 2010.
Nice-Cannes marathon 14th November 2010.
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A Comedy of Errors
On a cold March morning, this scribe arrived on the late (i.e post –Contessa) side of the start time and was surprised to see a gang of ne’er do wells huddled round a recyling centre looking lost.
This was not the planned start point of Harly-D’s famous yearly run and it was clear from the re-cycled look of some of the group, something was afoot.
Harley-D had had a seriously blonde moment, in keeping with her new look, and arranged her run the same day as hordes of trails bikers and quad bikers were following her flour.
So it was…
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
[Such as a horde of trial bikers,
most un-Mediterranean weather and
an un-godly hour for a Sunday morning.]
Dingus said ‘to Hash!’
If the unfortunate Hares had brought some flour with them, he could have put a girdle round the Tanneron in 40 minutes and live-Hared the run.
Unfortunately, that was ‘not to be’.
But Dingus led the charge and took the pack down paths that would in horse racing parlance be ‘good to soft. And then some’. The rampant mimosa did its best to brighten a grey day but as snow began to fall, it was clear this was going to be no ordinary hash and more a battle for survival to reach the beerstop.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Harley-D.
He that outlives this day, and sees old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his friends,
And say, "To-morrow is Saint Harley-D’s;"
Then will he strip his trouser, and show the mud,
And say, "These stains I had on Harley-D day."
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words, —
Pedo, Perpetch, Prestressed, Dingus, Cumalot,
Mad Max, No Satisfaction, Sud-Sucker
(and the American visitor whose name is clearly not a household word,)
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Harley-D shall ne'er go by
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd, —
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers
(sisters and non-gender specifics).
For he to-day that slips in the mud with me,
Shall be my brother/(sister); be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed,
(because of the 1 hour time difference
and their wives are already up cooking breakfast),
Shall think themselves accurs'd, they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap, whiles any speaks,
That Hashed with us upon St Harley-D's day.
With cries of
the runners returned to the recycling centre which had be reused and recycled being the start/end/ beerstop.
Meanwhile, Harley-D had led a group of walkers to…. Somewhere, perhaps ‘The undiscover'd country, from whose bourn No traveller returns’ for they were gone a very, very long time.
In fact, Cumalot decided he’d better off doing his tax return that waiting for the lost sheep to return.
What happened next is a blur, possibly caused by hypothermia.
The walkers eventually returned and clearly Harley-D had not heeded the warning of the ‘Ides of March’ and it was a case of ‘Et tu Hashers’ as she and partner in grime, Pedo, were awarded SoTW.
This was an historic occasion as, against convention, both Hares and Beermeister were SoTW, even when the late coming Sneaky Bastard was ready and waiting for his usual award.
But ‘the Hash is the thing’ so thanks to Harley-D and Pedo and emergency Hare Dingus for making the best of it since, as if we need reminding, things do not always go to plan…
Think but this, and all is mended’
Tough! It’s the Hash what do you expect?!
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 635: NEXT HASH 21-Mar
The hash will take place from the car park in the centre of St Paul en Foret.
1030 for 1100 Hours start. The On On will be in the village where we have eaten before. All enquiries about the food should be addressed to Tosspot.