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Hash directions should go torhhh@yahoogroups.com

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Never Cums

Cannes half Marathon/10km 14th February 2010.
Details here.

Monaco Marathon/10km 21st March 2010.
Details here.

Nice half marathon/10km 18th April 2010.
Details here.

Nice-Cannes marathon 14th November 2010.
Details here.

Try this link to find information regarding the Belgium Interhash bid for 2014.
Book early and obtain a good price. (If they win the bid)
To see what world hash events are coming up, check out this website:
Hash events.

Hash Fanny's/Jobsworth's (+cast of thousands) Biot Freezer Run
Poorly Pedo's Partial Persecution Parade

The backend of Biot car park was once again the meeting point for the Riviera Masochist Society. With the temperature being just above freezing, and the windchill making it very bad news for brass monkeys, the Hashers looked more prepared for an assault on the South Pole rather than an invigorating post New Year run/walk.

...all except Cumalot who was dressed in his usual t-shirt and shorts; though he had brought a jumper for when it got cold. Er.

In more keeping with the 'Scott of the Antarctic' theme, Prestressed had brought a token husky (OK, it was Jack the the Jack Russel) who proceeded to drag him along the trail without the traditional sled.

The runners trail had been ably set by Jobsworth and the runners did their best to run each carefully crafted falsie. Cumalot was fast out of the blocks as usual, probably just to keep warm but as soon as the runners climbed the first hill it was business as usual with Perpetual Motion disappearing into the distance. He came particularly well dressed with a particularly fetching DPM deerstalker which didn't quite manage to camouflage him enough while caught fraternizing with lady walkers, but more of that later...

I can't speak much about the walkers trail but it must have been very complicated as no less than three walking hares were required. With both 'W's and 'M's being spotted on the trail it probably needed Hash Fanny, Disco Dave and John-no-name to keep the walkers on the straight and narrow.

In the absence of Shepherds Bush, who was snow-bound in the frozen wastes of Florida (?), Disco 'Long rider' Dave had raided his western wear wardrobe to come up with a drovers coat that was very appropriate for the weather if not the ambiance of Biot.

The runners trail managed to follow several footpaths disguised as streams which had been raging torrents the day before according to Jobsworth. This was a relatively un-Hashed part of the area north East of Biot and the Hares should be commended (condemned?) for finding a 'new' area for the trail. The fact that the trail had any flour at all after the preceding deluge(s) was a testament to how much flour had been used and might explain any coming bread shortage in Western Europe.

After an enjoyable ascent through the heather and gorse and a more enjoyable descent it was back to the beerstop where the poorly Pedophil was patiently waiting in the beer car and it was heart-warming (surely hand freezing!) to note that he had gone to particular trouble to find plenty of ICE to keep the beer and rose extremely chilled. Calls of 'where is the vin chaud?' and 'this beer is bl**dy freezing' were met with disbelieving derision by Pedo.

A Beermeisters lot is never a happy one....

Whilst at the beerstop, the thee lady walkers that Perpetch had been seen 'bothering' on the trail appeared and were found not be Hashers. Instead they were a local walking group who were wandering the local area trying to recruit members for their strangely beer-less walking sect. Could their lack of numbers be related to their lack of beer compared with the hoard of hardy Hashers shivering around the coolbox on our trail? You decide.

With copious offers of beer and wine refused, the local walkers departed and the second half commenced. It mercifully short as evening was approaching and temperatures were falling even further.

The circle was lively and the down-downs were as follows. I'll keep this short now as just writing this is causing my chilblains to flare up again:-

Hares – Disco Dave, Hash Fanny, John-no-name and Jobsworth

Birthdays – Hash Fanny's half century

Returners – Cum-cum, Sadist, Lesley no-name, Skinny-A, Carolynn-no-name (see later)

Late comers (i.e. after the Hash had finished) – Two Cheeky

Special mentions:-

Dire Rear for not cooking Toss-pot any meals for a month and as a result he has lost 5kg over Xmas and New Year.

John-no-name for insubordination, incitation (incest?) and blasphemy for challenging the authority of the RA.

Prestressed for un-gallant behaviour for dropping Skinny A in it for being a late comer.

Sneaky Bastard for more ungentlemanly conduct regarding Hash Fanny's apparent age.

Sh*t of the Week. Pedo for trying impose the SotW award from the previous Hash on Prestressed and Sneaky B which had been won 'in absentia'.

SotW Runners up – Prestressed and Sneaky Bastart for just being there.

New Shoes – Pedo who was forcibly stripped of his footwear despite the cold weather and his state of health.

Cum-Cum         - mug awarded for 100 runs. All together now... Get a life, get a life, get a life, life life...

All down-downs dispensed, the majority decamped chez Hash Fanny's for a welcome curry and defrosting with copious coffee and alcohol.

Many thanks to the Hares and particularly to Hash Fanny & co. for some excellent cuisine.

Please note

Carolynn-no-name was so insistent that her name was not Caroline (or Radio Caroline or Radio Ga-Ga, or Lady Ga-Ga) and should be pronounced the same way as a popular floor cleaning product that it was suggested her Hash name should be 'Scrubber' or 'Foreskin Scrubber'.

The naming was deferred until the beer had defrosted and the flour had returned to powder form.

We all look forward to seeing 'Scrubber' again soon.

Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!

Look left
R*n 631: NEXT HASH 24-Jan
11.00 am for 11.30 am January 24th

The Hash starts and finishes at the home of Ann of Cleavage and Shepherds Bush in Montauroux.

Take the A8 to Junction 39.
Pay 1 euro 30 at the exit and then turn right on the D37.

Follow the road past the lake for 11 kms to the large roundabout.

Take the 2nd exit (signed Montauroux) and contiue for 2 Km, turn right up the hill for another 1 km.
At the sand coloured house on the left turn sharp right (signed Chemin des Adrets de Valcras).
After 100 metres take right fork (Chemin de la Fregiere). for about 150 m.

Park in this area taking care not to block roads or entrances.

Shepherds Bush and I are planning to make Haggis (to celebrate Burns night) at our house in Montauroux. It would be great if you can let us know of your intended participation , soonest , we need to know numbers so that we can order the haggis.
On on
Ann of Cleavage