RIVIERA HASH TRASH 618
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Porquerolles Weekend 18th - 20th September 2009
Brief details here.
Anyone who wants to see Padre's new home can look up:
BY A WALKER (CUM CUM)
Sunday 6th September broke with fresh cool winds and deep blue skies taking away the recent heat we have all endured here for the past month or so, and encouraged by the perfect conditions for a Hash, there was a reasonable turn out for Shepard's Bush and Prestressed Hash around Lac St Cassien.
Locals, unaware of the impending Hash assembling nearby were setting down to a perfect Sunday afternoon's sunbathing and swimming in the lake in peace and quiet without the hoards of tourists as in recent months.
Back at the start we were issued with iced water and sent on our way. The walkers scrambled down towards the waters edge and starting making their way around the side of the lake, across slippery rocks where ever the gentleman, Nigel No Name, gallantly offered his assistance to any female Hasher he could find. The first set of scantily clad locals were soon made aware of our presence as we walked past in a long line. Sneaky Bastard was last seen lagging behind with Contessa, deep in conversation. We regrouped to allow a visiting Hasher "Rude Boy", carrying 13 month old "Little Rude Boy" on his front to join us late. Then we noticed the absence of Sneaky B and Contessa. A search party was sent back but no trace was found. We continued on and a while later, back at the water's edge, we saw for the first time some of our runners coming around behind us, and who should be amongst them, Sneaky B, without Contessa! As he "ran" past the walkers, we wondered if he had capitulated onto the "other side" and what had he done with Contessa?? Several comments were heard about Sneaky B's skills of seduction and we all decided she must be resting! The runners continued to pass us and we noticed they were all covered in dirt and sand, we later found out all but 2 of them had followed Perpetch up a dusty false trail and back again, for well over a 1km. Who said only the walkers were like sheep and unable to follow a trail, just each other, seems the runners have caught the same disease!
As promised (for once) the beer stop was a mere 50 minutes from the start and the final stretch just another 30 minutes back to the circle. Having upset the peace and quiet of the local population beside the lake, as we all piled through their picnics and sunbathing areas, we were all upset to find that there were NO naked gay guys as promised at the start by the Hares. We think they were just encouraging us to do the full trail and not short cut as usual. Runners and walkers seemed to arrive at both the beer stop and circle around the same time so congratulations to the Hares for working that out well.
We started off the circle with the RA (Pedo) getting the Hares in the circle for a down down then calling for pr-nominations for Shit of the Week and immediately Sneaky Bastard, Sadist and Prestressed were nominated.
Down Downs went to:
Hares: Prestressed and Sheperd's Bush
Sneaky Bastard, 2 Cheeky and Contessa for speaking Spanish
Happy Hooker, Estella no name, virgin Nina for being "typical dumb blondes" and not being able to figure out how to open the beer box as they were all looking for "a knob" to press
Wedgie who bought an air ticket from Nice to Dublin for 30 euros and got a bargain, except he wanted to go to Nice from Dublin and that cost him an extra 300 euros!
Perpetch and Supermarket Trolley for whimping out of the Iron Man competition in Monaco as Perpetch has now "retired"
Contessa and Jingle Balls for arriving back at the circle last as they were deep in discussion about the performance of Sneaky Bastard.
Ollie for wearing Milan and other Hash club clothes he had never been to, and "Uncle Sadist" for forcing him to wear them and come on our Hash.
Ollie forced to come by Sadist
Rude Boy and Little Rude Boy (who had not once cried or made a noise of any kind, can that be THE perfect baby??)
Crimes on Trial:
Perpetch for his stripping speed skills and he proved it by getting his kit off and into his hat in under 5 seconds!
Wedgie who looked absolutely everywhere and was disappointed to not find any naked gay guys on the trial.
Sneaky Bastard and Contessa for sneaking off into the bushes, and ripping a hole into the side of her T shirt so he could partake in a "bit on the side".
Nina (who fell on her backside twice on her 1st ever Hash) and Nacer.
Suggestion for the naming "Illegal Immigrant" for Nigel came from Sneaky Bastard as he forgot his passport on a recent trip to Italy and was refused entry into a hotel; he did however take his dog "Archie's" passport which eventually granted him access. It was then suggested "Illegal Alien" and finally the Hash agreed upon "Archie Balls". The ceremony was conducted by Prestressed and Archie Balls was duly covered in flour and beer.
Shit of the Week:
Two Cheeky for having the cheek to ask for a discount at the Porquerolles as she wont be able to do the walks and will have the terrible dis-pleasure of spending her day in the beer boat, for which they now have to get a bigger beer boat.
Sneaky Bastard was runner up for getting his dates all mixed up in organising future hashes and being absent as a Hare Raiser while he spent an idealic summer in Bournemouth.
The circle was closed by Pedo after a reminder call for swimmers of the Hash to assemble together at the Pointe Croisette in Cannes for a Hash swim of approx 1,200m over to the island of Ste Margaruerite at 9am on Sunday 27th September, a Hash boat will be available to pick up anyone in trouble.
A big thank you to both Hares for a beautifully scenic, shady and not too long Hash that delivered everything that was promised - except for the nude gay guys.
OnOn to the Porkies
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 619-621: NEXT HASH 18,19,20-Sep
Where, When, How, Who ??????????
The Hare : Prestressed
Contact Hare on: email: firstname.lastname@example.org Tel: 06 28 13 67 59
Friday 18-Sep Run 619 : Meet at 17:00
Where, When, How, Who ??????????
The Hare : Dingus for the runners, Shepherd's Bush for the walkersbr> Contact Hare on: email: email@example.com Tel:
Saturday 19-Sep Run 620 : Meet at 09:00 for 09:30
Where, When, How, Who ??????????
The Hare : Perpetch
Contact Hare on: email: firstname.lastname@example.org Tel:
Sunday 20-Sep Run 621 : Meet at 10:30 for 11:00
Directions (text & map below):Directions can be found here.