RIVIERA HASH TRASH 616
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The U.K. Nash Hash 28/08 – 31/08/09. Organised by Edinburgh HHH,
Porquerolles Weekend 18th - 20th September 2009
Brief details here.
Anyone who wants to see Padre's new home can look up:
Despite the run instructions, most HASHERs made it on-time to the starting point. The instructions were for women. We Harriets realised that 'left' towards 'Col d'Eze' really meant 'the other left'. Even 'Too Cheeky' turned up early, because she followed the instructions! There was a good turnout on this hot Sunday afternoon, lots of 'visitors', 'returners', 'virgins' and even some regulars.
We stood around in the shade of the odd tree, in 'the 'National Park of Grande Corniche', waiting for the beermaster. Finally just after 1600, Pedo' turns up, with a car load of family, having just done the washing up after his party, which finished at 5:30 am.
It was the quick-thinking co-hare, 'Sadist' who managed to avoid complete disaster when he realized that the hare, 'Old Tart' was disappearing off to the beerstop with the beermaster in only one car.
And so to the run: Often the setting for 'Jobsworth's hashes in the past, the meandering trail spun up and down the craggy hillsides of the 'Col d'Eze', boasted breathtaking views, scores of butterflies, colbat blue skies, sweet scented brush land, and a first half marked almost entirely by 'doggy poo'. Ah! Qui! A delight!
Though no shiggy in sight, many a HASHER came unstuck on the loose scree, sending them crashing on their bottoms. 'Perpetch' who just cycled up the hill to the starting point, was the first to slip on his bum, encouraging the children and returners to follow suit, thinking it was part of the tradition. It was a great HASH. Lots of up! Lots of grouping opportunities to catch up with the 'Runners', especially 'Dingus' who runs about every 'falsie' as no one else does! Just when we got fed up with not finding the trail, despite the lashings of flour, the co HARE appeared giving gentle hints.
Our new recruits 'Flower Power' (alias Jermimah and 'Furby' alias Louis joined ranks with our young pros 'Undergrowth' and 'Rachel' setting a frenzied pace uphill.
And so to the beerstop, where some made friends with 'Nancy', some mutton dressed as lamb, out on her Sunday stroll.
The first half had been a bit rough for some of the party animals from the night before. 'Old Tart' had told them it was an easy walk. Never believe a HARE! The hares promised an easier second half, but we knew that meant 'up to the view point'. It was worth it, as always to gaze down at the azure waters and the tiny dots of massive gin palaces in the hazy distance of 'Cap Ferrat'. Ah Qui! Just another splendiferous view for a Riviera HASHER!
Back at the circle, our honourable 'Religious Advisor' donned his best purple jacket for the occasion.
It was here we presented 'Pedo' with what every 60 year old needs, a wheelbarrow, stuffed with 'alcoholic' drinks on the rocks (real rocks)! This was all thanks to the masterly organisation of our 'HASH CASH' and 'Contessa' who herself went to 'Italy' to get the booze especially for him. In addition she even gave 'Pedo' a private 'strip tease' show in the car park, distracting him in the circle.
The circle ended with the naming ceremony of 'Confusions' grandchildren, who have become passionate hashers during their holidays 'Furby' for 'front running b......!' formerly known as 'Louis' and 'Flower Power' formerly known as Jermimah. We look forward to your return!
The evening closed with a gourmet and perfectly organised picnic provided by 'Sadist' international catering facilities.
The starter appeared quietly out of the back of the car, neatly spread out on the tablecloth. Come on admit it? Most of you thought 5 euros was a lot for a bit of pate, eh? But the back of the catering truck yielded many more gourmet surprises. There were chicken wings and breasts, perfectly prepared and cut tomatoes, an array of multicoloured sweet peppers, bread, olives, all this appeared with perfectly orchestrated timing out of the back of the 'Merc'. A sweet of fruit tart and, so I believe, cheese and a digestif to finish off!!! Ah! Qui! 'Sadist' is a man of many talents, who simply pulled off a fantastic feast. A fitting end to a fit 60 year old's 'birthday weekend'.
And so to the 'down downs':
HARES: 'Old Tart' and 'Sadist';
BIRTHDAYS: 'Toss Pot', Diarrhoea', The Twins, Daphne and 'Pedo'
For BIONIC Valves: 'Mad max' (hope the operation goes well Max!0
Ecological Vandal: 'Cumalot' for breaking trees;
For a '5 point breaking posture': 'Perpetch' (sliding on his bum)
For wearing sandals on a tough trail: Daphne and Graham;
For misleading his family: 'Pedo'.
'Too Cheeky' and 'Confusion' for not HASHING
'HASH FLASH' a photographer who constantly took pictures, but knew exactly how to take a beer over the head
To 'Contessa' for having a broken toe which made her walk the trail backwards
To the 'Sheep abusers' 'Cindy and 'Long and Hard'
To 'Mudwrestler' and 'Iron lady' for being hypochondriacs and changing clothes before the circle
To the returners: 'Cindy', 'Wedgie', Undergrowth and Rachel
To the virgins: Michaela, Graham, Daphne and Sheila
'Shit of the week' was unanimously awarded to 'Pedo', for, as 'Wedgie' claimed, having had a sex change 60 years ago.
'Sadist' was a close runner up, for not taking care of his trainee HARE 'Old Tart' who left the circle talking on a mobile
On! On! Until the next time
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 617: NEXT HASH 23-Aug
Pedo to the rescue
The usual Pedo start point, revered by hashers, cottagers and other perverts for years.
You know the one - it's the lay by on the dual carriageway between Antibes autoroute exit and Domaine Green Side in Sophia Antipolis.
16h30 for 17h00
Pedo has very kindly come to the rescue again and stepped in at the last minute to present this anti-canicule hash.
It will feature shaded woodland, river beds and, if you are lucky, lots of low life (or did Pedo mean local fauna? - I'm not sure!)
Need further encouragement?
What better than to finish it all off at L'Oiseau Qui Chante in Antibes, surely the best value restaurant in the area. Huge & tasty pizza, great pasta, succulent meat, your choice washed down with something agreeably alcoholic (or not!) - all available for a reasonable price.
For those of you who need even more detail, here goes:
Exit Antibes and take the D535, direction Domaine Green Side in Sophia Antipolis.
The number of roundabouts you need to take between the autoroute exit and getting on to the correct road depends on your direction and the number of short cuts you take.
If in doubt, look at the attached map!
Once on the D535 dual carriageway, follow it down into the valley and back up the other side.
The meeting point is the lay by on your right.
Distance from A8 approximately 1 to 2km.
Take the D504 to Sophia Antipolis. Keep going to the roundabout at Domaine Green Side. At the roundabout, take the D535, direction Antibes & A8. Keep following the same directions at the next roundabout.
The dual carriageway will go downhill into a valley and you will see the starting point on your left hand side..unfortunately, you cannot access it from here!
So keep going to the next roundabout, double back on yourself and park in the lay by ready to start.