RIVIERA HASH TRASH 613
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The U.K. Nash Hash 28/08 – 31/08/09. Organised by Edinburgh HHH,
Porquerolles Weekend 18th - 20th September 2009
Brief details here.
Anyone who wants to see Padre's new home can look up:
Lines on Padre and Big End leaving the Riviera Hash
For a new life in Belize
So. Farewell then.
Big End and Padre.
Third time lucky?
This time to a desert island.
Not many possibilities for hash trails
On a four acre isle.
At least it will be flat.
With your 8 Desert Island Discs
Of favourite Hash Hymns
Will your one luxury request be for
An inexhaustible supply of .....
With acknowledgements to E J Thribb (aged17 ½)
Two fish in a tank.
The first one says, "You drive, I will man the gun".
A wonderful, clear,sunny, Var day by the sparkling,clear water of lake Cassienne and the mottle crew gathered despite the feminine sounding directions to the start point.
(Coming from the South turn left, or from the North, turn left into the car park)
Saddle Sniffer, looking good, in her best walking attire, despite the fact she let slip to Padre that the previous weekend she had run a competitive 5km. race and was going to "RUN" on the next Hash.
Padre had promised her that, if she ran she would not be the last to the Beer Stop.
Was it the threat of beer which persuaded to renege on her good intentions?
Was Padre going to take no for an answer?
Prestressed introduced his co hare Fairy Plunger, gave the spiel, and sent us on our way with Padre encouraging Saddle Sniffer to make sure they were in the first tranche out or the car park, leaving the others behind. Her first run and already a F.R.B..
There is your answer then!
A quick warm up loop down to the lake, head towards Montoroux, back up to the road and across the car park again and head for the coast, thus allowing for any late comers to catch up, unless you are called John with two Virgins in tow.
A short jog along the flat, beside the road before we to climb up a small hill. Perpetual Motion and Jobsworth leading the way followed by Sadist, Mad Max and Paedophil but this was then followed with some serious up and I lost track of who was where. But I imagine Paedophil had to stop and tie his shoe laces a few times going up the hill.
Actually he must have done because Saddle Sniffer and Padre reached the top just after him, they were all together at the view stop.
Jobsworth said he didn't have a late pass and had to leave early and return to the start so he gave Padre a farewell, kiss goodbye (he's been in France too long) and said he would give one to Big End on his way down.
Big End arrived some time later, all breathless, hot and sweaty. So I can only assume he did as he said and gave her one, on the way down.
Wonderful view from the top of the hill. Well worth the pain. Although Cream Puff couldn't see much through the perspiration and might not agree with the, "No gain, no pain", mantra.
Regroup over and those with the longest rest period sprint of to find the next check, which proved to be a tad cerebral and gave Perpetual Motion, Sadist, Cumalot and Padre a good work out.
Paedophil did what he is best at and stood in the shade under a tree helping the female members relax, until Sadist found the correct trail surreptitiously hidden behind a trees.
A long, slow, descent with a few checks to slow and keep the pack together and Cossie Fannie Tootie, Hair Flick and Saddle Sniffer forming their own little sub group, running as a team and talking about "women's" things.
Big End and Wuff Diva also putting the world right.
A the bottom of the hill a most welcome site. The arrow for the beer stop. A wicked sense of humour, as the beer was about two kms. away.
Saddle Sniffer was obout sixth to the refreshments!
Beer stop over and Saddle sniffer is given the option of the walk back or enjoy the more varied trail of the the runners. She went for the later option for enjoyment and was also joined by John no name and his two virgin friends Teinaman Square and Gossomer who arrived even too late to find the runners start.
All progressing smoothly along the contour until the first water splash when Tienanmen says to Padre "Are you serious?" He said, "Yup, just keep running" and promptly fell straight on his face as his foot found a rather large pothole .
Tienanmen almost wet himself trying to suppress a laugh. You could tell he was a virgin anybody else would still have been laughing when they arrived back in the car park.
Just a gentle run in from here although Saddle Sniffer probably would not agree as by now she run double her previous best distance.
We done Saddle Sniffer, and from here it only becomes easier as you adjust to the peculiarities of each hare.
And for all those Newcastle fans.
A Sunderland fan was walking through the woods when he found a Newcastle season ticket nailed to a tree and he thought, "I will have that. After all you can't have too many nails".
Notes on Hash Lac St Cassien, Sunday June 28
About 45 ? Hashers met in the parking at the Lac St. Cassien on a very HOT Sunday morning, even at 10:30 am ! Farty Bum was there only to take the cash and dash - can you believe she drives all that way to collect the money so she can leave to her singing engagements! The last I remember was seeing her frantically, warming up her vocale cords, calling out for Max who had the keys to the car.
Prestressed gave a very detailed briefing on the Hash markings, and what they meant - Walkers were told to follow the 'W's and not to follow an 'M', and then follow after the Beer Stop a 'W2' . (we never saw any!) Walkers headed off on a short loop down to the lake then back again to a parking and then down again, along lakeside paths and up and down, at one point seeing horses, and avoiding stepping in horse souvenirs, We looked longingly at a cool green/blue lake, with sensible people lounging in the sun on paddleboats., while we exhausted ourselves in the hot sun.
At one point, Walkers came across what looked to me an 'M' and Confusion remembered the warning, and we assumed either the Hares had made a mistake or we were on the Runners Trail. So the Walkers backtracked, trying to verify, if we were on the right trail. With no other way to go, eventually we did take it, and it turned out to be correct. Seems that the Hares had originally planned for Walkers to cross a river of sorts, but changed their minds. So why didn't they erase that 'M'???
Eventually we arrived suffering from heat stroke, at the Beer Stop, with Pedo's Beer mobile all locked up! Contessa searched under the wheels looking for hidden keys - no, they were back in Bordighera...
And then, to our surprise, what should happen next is the arrival of three massive Pompier fire trucks, as if they had detected that Hashers were overheating in the forest:! These fit young guys in dark rubber uniforms, parked within 10 meters of the Beer Car, and jumped out and began playing with their long wet hoses. Well several lady Walkers were very attracted to this, and like magnets, were drawn in closer. Kathy from Cape Town asked for first aid, Mme Mouton asked questions abt cutting the brush, Contessa offered chips. The guys were polite, and all business though. And eventually the Runners and Pedo came trailing in. When the fire trucks left, they gave us a loud blast of their horn, which was quite sympathic as we stood around drinking beers in the hot sun..
More walking up and down paths around the lake brought us back to the parking and the Circle. We never aw any 'W2s' but it was a good idea.
This was the final Hash for Padre and Big End, off to Belize to manage a Caribbean Island, and as Padre was a Grand Master (GM) in the past, it is only fitting he go Full Circle, managing the Final Circle, for his final Hash.. Upon his next return, we will refer to him as GMM or Grand Marnier Master
Downs Downs to:
Hare and Co-Hare : Prestressed and Fairy Plunger - bravo to Fairy Plunger who put in great effort to learn the skills of trail laying in the hot Var backpaths..
To Sadddle Sniffer - for transforming to a Runner . She has secretly been in training on runs of 5kms, but bravo on Sunday, she ran at least 11 kms.. Contrarily:John from the resto in old Nice, who is a great Runner - he arrived too late to run so became a Walker. Padre suggested a Hash Name for John of 'Dizzy Gillespie'. Contessa suggests he use the name scratched on the back of his car - 'HotMale.com'
To Skinny A, Anne of Cleavage and Shepards Bush for preparing the gourmet picnic
To Farty Bum (in absentee) for writing an 8 page Run Report and castigating Padre in several paragraphs
To Madame Mouton, Long & Hard, Cum Cum, Kathy from Capetown,, Diarrhea,, Contessa, for flirting with the Pompiers
To Woof Diver - for trusting her dog to Prestressed because he couldn't run up a hill.
(who? the dog or Prestressed??)
To Long & Hard - who was a poser wearing a Hash t-shirt from exotic locales, although she's never been out of France. Unlike ManEater, who attractively models an extensive, authentic collection earned in world-wide Hashing
To Virgins - Tiernian and Gosia (guests of John)
Sadist dedicated a poem to Padre and Big End - who are leaving us, AGAIN, this time, for a 4 acre desert island, and its all flat.and they will be drinking Corona cerveza - and swatting tropical mosquitoes, fending off Mexican drug gangs and taking shot of tequila ! Hola!
Unable to fathom the loss of Padre and Big End, - Perpetch stepped excitedly into the circle and shouted "They turn up with depressing regularity.. You're always coming back!" or "You Must always come back!"
Anyway you look at it, they will have to come back or RHHH will have to book a boat to Belize, lay a trail and go and get them! Padre, prepare the Corona, Big End, the salsa and chips, we're on our way!
Shits of the Week Padre and Big End were awarded in tandem for leaving RHHH. No questions or votes on this. They will wear the black t-shirt and Golden Turd with pride.
As Sneaky B, the last to be awarded Shit of the Week, snuck off with the original Golden Turd a few Hashes ago, and left on a Med cruise, a second rendition of the Golden Turd was therefore crafted by Pedo, as a replacement. We heard Sneaky B is sailing secretly to Greece to negotiate trading the Golden Turd in exchange for allowing the Elgin Marbles to remain at the British Museum. Sneaky B is said to be in secret discussions convincing Parthenon officials in Athens, that the value of the Golden Turd is far greater than the restitution of the Marbles. *Elgin Marbles not to be confused with Jingle Balls
Padre knelt on the ground, Virgin Gosia served up the phallic vessel. Padre amused himself by sucking, swallowing and pouring more suds at the same time. Big End's turn, she sucked and swallowed efficiently, administered by Virgin Tiernan.
Kathy from S. Africa
Mr& Mrs CJ
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 614: NEXT HASH 12-Jul
Looloup & Bender's Roquefort run-a-round
Start: College de Roquefort Les Pins .... the big new concrete and orange coloured school just outside of Roquefort Les Pins Start time: 16:00 for a 16:30 start.
Directions: Actual address is 1210 Route du Valbonne, 06330 Roquefort Les Pins
For those with access to technology:
For those without:
If you are coming from Biot / Sophia / Valbonne .... head towards Roquefort Les Pins - pass Chateau Begude/Golf Course on your left ... then the "English Garden Centre" on your right .... continue for around a kilometre or so ... and the College is on your left .... turn in to the College, and there is a parking on the right hand side.
If you are coming from A8 / Nice / just about anywhere else .... Exit the A8 at junction 47 (Villeneuve-Loubet / Grasse) take the D2085 direction Grasse. Pass through Villeneuve-Loubet, keep going (a few twists and turns) for about 10 kilometres. When you get to the first roundabout (in Roquefort Les Pins) take direction Valbonne, at the next small roundabout go straight on, after about 500 metres you will see the College on your right ....turn in to the College, and there is a parking on the right hand side.
Dinner: We will be dining at the "Franco Thai" restaurant in RLP - we have been promised a 3-course Thai meal (with some choice of curries) with wine.
Please let Looloup know (email@example.com) if you are coming to eat - especially if you do NOT want a delicious Thai curry.