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Never Cums

DIVAHHH Champagne Weekend 2009, Friday 27th - Sunday 29th March 2009
in Reims, France Party in style in the Champagne Region!
more details here
The U.K. Nash Hash 28/08 – 31/08/09. Organised by Edinburgh HHH,
Details here.
Porquerolles Weekend 18th - 20th September 2009
Brief details here.

Christmas Party Hash

We were told to find the naked lady on the Juan les Pins promenade for the start of the pre-party hash; as we were in December rather than July, there weren't too many naked ladies around. Nevertheless we did find such a statue where about 20 hashers were gathered, a surprisingly large number being visitors from Milan. Dirty Dingus and Sudsucker just managed to get there as we set off in the direction Sneaky Bastard said the trail for the runners lay; however they hadn't been there in time to hear Sneaky Bastard tell us that as the wind had blown away most of the flour the trail went down to a sailing club and then came back along the beach. This saved us, apart from Dingus, having to do much checking at the check by the sailing club. No flour along the beach but lots of rotting seaweed and the incoming waves to be avoided.

Further along towards Port Galice we met the hare coming towards us, he waved us on, past the B for beer sign pointing towards us , and along to the breakwater, where inevitably having reached the end we had to come back along the top of the wall, meeting the walkers along the way. At a check back on terra firma the obvious way for me was back to the beer sign and where Sneaky Bastard was to be found brewing up mulled wine; other runners must have found more trail in the opposite direction as they didn't arrive back for another 10 minutes by which time all the walkers had arrived including Sinex whose shoes had come apart, which had of course prevented him from running up with the FRBs.

The sun was setting over in the Cannes direction and Dingus as the RA held a short circle-apart from one to the hares Sneaky Bastard and Jingle Balls, I can't remember any of the charges for down-downs but we should have given one to a spiderman character in a wetsuit who amused us by dancing up and down by the edge of the sea and then splashing round in the water. As the sun disappeared we made for the hotel Strelizia, to clean up and dress for the evening's events.

First of all there was the precocktails cocktail party at the abode of Happy Hooker and Dark and Moist. Padre and I still dressed informally in hash gear were the first runners to arrive having walked the second hash trail of the afternoon along the back streets of Juan les Pins. Ann of Cleavage and Shepherds Bush were already there not having participated in the earlier hash. There were lots of nibbles and drinks and it looked as though we would be a very small party to enjoy them for some time- few other guests arrived before it was the time for us to go back and get dressed in funny clothes;as we left a whole group dressed in their finery turned up.

Back at the hotel many had foregathered for the pre-dinner drinks; Contessa had arranged for a showing of the movie by Mark Dezzani ' Summer Hashing in Seborga' which no doubt will be nominated for the hash Oscars. Of course the actors in the Allo Allo skit should also be nominated for something. All passed smoothly for the dinner party, well organised by Alison and DJ'd by Disco Dave. Lion taming lessons were given by Robert, which won him the prize for the best joke. The 12 days of Christmas was sung twice with different versions and a complicated series of numbers-all the way up to 12- involving much standing up and sitting down.

Next morning, Riviera H3 produced another fine sunny day for the hare of the dog hash which started outside the hotel. Most of the party attendants managed to make it and we were joined by The Baptist from Dili who had run with us the previous afternoon but had not been at the party, and by Finnish Fly who had been partying elsewhere but did turn up at the hotel around midnight.

As the hash had been set by No Satisfaction we all knew that we would be having our annual trip up to the Cap d'Antibes lighthouse. But surprise, surprise! We were not going there. The trail had been laid in chalk and we were told that we would find the marks in all sorts of places- we had to look for them, which of course we did not do. Having run around the road behind the hotel there was no sign of any marks; we had to retrace our steps and the hash was held up while we searched around for any sign of trail. Eventually it was found , and a tour of the residential streets of Juan les Pins was on the way; sometimes running without trail meant that instead of going round all the street blocks you could run ahead and pick it up a hundred yards on though there were times when the chalk marks ( and some flour blobs) were far from obvious. Nevertheless the pack stayed close together and eventually we found ourselves going round No Satisfaction's apartment block and the nearby park and then beside the railway until we could go underneath and emerge by the sea at Golfe Juan. The walkers were waiting at a deserted cafŽ on the beach where the refreshments were produced for the beer stop.

After the beer stop the walkers were sent off along the beach and No Satisfaction offered the runners a choice of either following the walkers or having a couple of extra K with some tricky bits. Naturally we all chose for this option which turned out to be a trail through the Golfe Juan Marina involving climbing gates, scaling walls and going in areas reserved for officials. Not always easy- Lena from Milan was somewhat reluctant to follow Pedo in his method of sliding down a pole- there were a lot of male volunteers to give her a helping hand down though. There was a phare at the end of the seawall so I suppose we did go to the lighthouse after all. Although it was gin and tonic time no one seemed to be aboard the luxury yachts to offer us a drink, so we just had our photo taken by the biggest one and then left for home. Perpetual Motion set off at a cracking pace for the run in; the trail was well marked with little chalk arrows- no wonder No Sat has a bad back if she had to bend down every 100yards.

Padre acted as RA for the circle and there were the following charges/down downs
No Satisfactio- the hare
Farty Bum- for bad manners according to the RA
Alison, Disco Dave- for organizing the party
Dark & Moist, Sadist- for run reports
Contessa - as poxy for Mark Dezzani for the movie
The Baptist , Pedophil- for leaving their missus at home on Sunday
Anne of Cleavage- for songwriting
Padre, Pedo, Perpetual Motion- for a rendering of the 12 days of syphilis
Contessa- for wanting a date from Pedo
Too many to mention- for not having hash mugs
The Baptist (East Timor), Lena, Mad March Hare, Alley Cat, Iron Bum, Cellular Sex, The Bag, Sinex (all from Milan), Zuccini-visitors

Shit of the Week was awarded to Dark & Moist

Then we all went round the corner to Knickerlicker's place for soup and garlic bread and mince pies. Since Sneaky Bastard had managed to miss out on shit of the week, he almost caused a revote as he managed to spill the bowl of mulled wine all over the table. Dyson led his doggy friends in rushing to lick it up. Even so there was plenty of food and drink left and we all had a marvellous afternoon in the sun.

Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!

Look left
R*n 597: NEXT HASH 14-Dec

Meet 11:00 for 11:30 start

Carpark at the end of the Promenade de l'Etang, Mougins.

How to get there:
From a8 jct 42 (Cannes/Mougins/Grasse). Take the penetrante towards Grasse/Mougins
Take the D35 exit (2nd exit) signed Sophia Antipolis
Go straight ahead at the roundabout
Turn right almost immediately on Av de Grasse (by a big boulangerie).
Turn 2nd right on to Promenade de l'Etang. Drive to the far end and look for a place to park. Note you may find it easier to park about 3/4 of the way down the road and walk the last little bit.

Map here. But note that the start is actually at the junction with Chemin Pablo Picasso not the point indicated on the map.

Restaurant is La Source in Sophia Antipolis @ €18.