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Lou Papier

Riviera Trash
Runs, Events, News, Info, Contacts

In Your Papier

On! On!

How to
set a run

Sat 6-Dec: Sneaky Bastard
Sun 7-Dec:No Satisfaction


Worth Reading


Hash directions should go torhhh@yahoogroups.com

Have your say-got an opinion? Give it to me and I’ll publish and be dammed

Never Cums

Christmas Bash 2008 - 6/12/08
Full details here.

Run 597 14/12/08 - Merrydick's Soixante but not neuf
Run details here.
DIVAHHH Champagne Weekend 2009, Friday 27th - Sunday 29th March 2009
in Reims, France Party in style in the Champagne Region!
more details here
The U.K. Nash Hash 28/08 – 31/08/09. Organised by Edinburgh HHH,
Details here.
Porquerolles Weekend 18th - 20th September 2009
Brief details here.

"Gourdon is a moron" A "runner's" perspective

Any chance to insert the chorus of a long lost gem of 1970s British new wave, eh? Even sadder, it's on my iPod…..but that might be a detail too far!

To the hash. Tropical weather awaited the hardy crowd of runners & walkers in the centre of Gourdon, beautifully perched in the back country behind Grasse (altitude 700 metres). The weather was magnificent. Mainly in the 30s, occasionally creeping to the 40s with high humidity. Just right for our Canadian visitors from the Bangkok hash. Home from home, in fact, until you realise that I'm confusing my Centigrade & Fahrenheit. For those of you who are too young or too continental to remember Fahrenheit, 32 F = 0C aka blinkin' freezing.

Pedo and Two Cheeky, to their credit, did not let a little cold weather, sleet, ice and other foul elements deter them from setting a full hash. We assembled in the village centre amid rally cars enjoying powerslides in the ice and locals with centimetres of snow on their bonnets. A good group of walkers was present. Runners were few & far between but fortunately complemented by our aforementioned Canadian friends.

After a delay (caused by the hare, more of which later), we were off. Runners went one way and walkers the other. The start was marked by Tessa (hash hound for the day with the absence of Dyson) tripping up her master Jobsworth, to the mirth of everyone else. Supermarket Trolley was marvelling the fact that we were on road when…..off into the rocks we went.

Not forgetting this was a Pedo hash, the pack scrambled around for a while…to find itself back in the car park! After this, it was time to catch up with the walkers on trail. Dingus was streaking in front (not literally, although it was brave of him to wear shorts on a day like this) and along the Gourdon DFCI pistes. For those that do not know, DFCI means the forest fire protection routes. I can assure you that the cold and amount of water on the ground meant that the risk of fire was very, very low.

Basically, the walkers' & runners' trails were the same, with the runners cunningly slowed down by devious checks every so often. After w while, a pattern emerged. The trail went into the rocks, only to rejoin the dirt road a few metres after a cross. Bored of this game, Padre decided to start running through crosses…..until the trail did seem to genuinely go off road. Drat, drat & triple drat as Dick Dasterdly would say. (Tessa did not manage the Muttly impression very well, it has to be said).

A regroup was now the order of the day, allowing Wetspot to catch up after a late start. Now Wetspot ran for President of the USA as you all remember. It seems that he is disappointed that Obama got one over him, to the point that he refuses to take a post in his government, unlike that highly principled Hillary C.

Regroup over, the pack found the trail disappearing up the mountain & over the rocks. Padre was confident that it would be taking us to the magnificent views at the top. He even assured us that we might see a stag or two. The problem with his assertion was that the hunters were out (prompting the remark from the hashettes that one of their guns looked unfeasibly big & unwieldy for its recreational use). This also meant that the only stag we were likely to see would be dead. Fortunately, Pedo took pity on us and the trail went over the crest and down……to the track again. Only this time it rejoined it 100 metres after the last cross.

By this point, our Canadian hashettes were in need of a beer to compensate the sweaty conditions. "Are we nearly there yet?" was the question. Padre assured us that the beer car was close by, but Jobsworth disproved this by finding the trail going in the opposite direction to the car. At this point, Padre embarrassed Dingus by reminding him that this was the point where he went arse over tit last time we hashed here.

Fortunately, the deviation turned out to be a kickback and we were soon at the beer stop after a respectable 8.5km and somewhere over 1 hour. The walkers were long since there and had consequently scoffed most of the food and drunk the wine.

Frivolities over, it was time to start off again. The walkers were to take the same route back, whilst the runners were sent into the woods. On exiting the woods, most walkers were seen to be going the right way. However, for reasons I still don't understand, 2 walkers (Knicker Licker and I'm afraid I do not remember who else) were going in the opposite direction back to the beer car. Bizarre.

At this point, it was time for an executive decision. God had been very fair to Pedo & Two Cheeky on his morning of rest, but the heavens were now getting decidedly grey and 'orrible. The runners (except Padre) decided to abandon the runners trail and run home on the walkers' route. Padre continued to follow flour yet still managed to get ahead of the pack.

The remainder of the hash was a race against the heavens, not helped by that dumb blonde Tessa stopping to lie in every puddle as if it was the middle of summer. The final furlong was interesting. Supermarket Trolley was in her element, being able to stretch her legs on something akin to road running, whilst Padre was heard to complain that his knees couldn't take it and that he'd need to spend the next few days in bed with some hot totty.(think I reported that correctly).

The runners managed to return to the car park just as the heavens opened. Unfortunately, they had run the walkers' trail, so you can imagine the carnage for them as they tried to return home. This prompted Operation SOS Hasher, whereby all drivers with 4x4s went out to bring them home by car.

The run clocked in at a respectable 13km.

Once everyone was back, the circle was an extremely quick, cold & wet affair. As nobody was officially reporter, I did not take any notes, so the following down downs go from memory:
  • Pedo & Two Cheeky as hares for a great hash in adverse conditions

  • Jobsworth for seemingly having acute diarrhea, judging by the state of his tracksuit bottoms

  • Visitors

  • Virgins

  • ….by 'eck its getting cold now, so I remember nothing else…..

  • SoW went against the grain by being a unanimous Pedo for allowing the run to start late and therefore getting the walkers very wet

Finally and with apologies to those who have already seen it, I finish with a topical piece of news that is too important not to print:

"If the global crisis continues, by the end of the year only two Banks
will be operational, the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank!

Then these 2 banks will merge and will be called:
"The Bloody Fucking Bank"
Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!

Look left
R*n 595: NEXT HASH 6-Dec & R*n 596: 7-Dec

Saturday 6-Dec

Sneaky B and Jingle Balls Pre-Party Run
3.30 for 3.45
Meet at the naked lady on the promenade at Juan les Pins (you can find her on the pedestrian part of the Prom - you can't miss her as she's quite prominent, especially if its cold)
The run /walk will take about an hour so plenty of time to get ready for the 'do'

Sunday 7-Dec

For the 'Hare of the Dog' Run

Meet Sunday Dec 7 at 11:00 for 11:30 in 'Park Pauline' opposite the 'Hotel Les Strelitzias':

The park is on the old 'N7' in the centre of 'Juan les Pins'. Road called 'Boulevard de Poncaire'

Coming from 'A8' Exit '44' follow signs to 'Juan les Pins'

From 'Carrefour' roundabout, take the 'D35' direction 'Antibes les Pins/Juan les Pins'.
At the top of the hill, drop off to the right on the 'new' section of the 'D35' (D635) towards 'Antibes les Pins'/'Juan les Pins'/Cannes.
Straight on at the small roundabout with the chapel.
Carry straight on through a few lights and past school playing fields. Then you arrive at a massive round-about.
Turn first right off this roundabout direction 'Antibes les Pins'/'Juan les Pins'/Cannes'.
Over more lights and you arrive at another round-about, with 'Mcdonalds' flags on your right.
Turn left following the 'green sign' to 'Juan les Pins' This is the 'old' 'N7'
At second traffic light, turn right towards 'Juan les Pins' town centre, Boulevard de Poinciare
About 4 traffic lights later, you will see a sign indicating the 'Hotel Les Strelitzias' on your left.
'Parc Pauline' is just before the hotel, in front of it on the main road.
Good luck with the parking!