RIVIERA HASH TRASH 591
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Knicker Licker for Walkers, Pedo for Runners
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Have your say-got an opinion? Give it to me and I’ll publish and be dammed
Ghost on the Coast 24th-26th October, Viareggio
Zurich 500th Run, 28/11/08 – 30/11/08.
Time: November 28, 2008 at 5pm to November 30, 2008 at 4pm
Posted By: Thirsty Thursday
In the depths of Chlösterli Forest (near the Zoo!), Zürich, Switzerland, ZH3 will be hosting the 500th Run. 3 day Event Starting 28/11/08. Great central location, wonderful scenic woodland and picturesque views of the lake via the 3xtrails starting with a Red Dress run on Friday. Wild, Wild Zoo party with Gourmet food via Chef-de-Cuisine, W&R. All details via www.zh3.ch or mail firstname.lastname@example.org
If you have a HashSpace signin then see more details and RSVP on HashSpace:
Christmas Bash 2008 - 6/12/08
Full details here.
Run 597 14/12/08 - Merrydick's Soixante but not neuf
This will be Merry Dick 60th. birthday celebration(?).
Padre would like to know of any original members still in the area so he can contact them, to inquire if they are:
a) still alive and
b) want to come along and see how the old fart is aging and c) join in the celebrations.
The U.K. Nash Hash 28/08 – 31/08/09. Organised by Edinburgh HHH,
Porquerolles Weekend 18th - 20th September 2009
Brief details here.
Light at end of tunnel? (Walkers Report)
Grand turnout for inaugural hash
Happy Hooker and Dark and Moist
Nee Joss and Martin -
Scenic run followed by swanky nosh-
Left financial woes behind in the cemetery.
Sneaky Bastard, the contra ion, now known as Rich bastard, flagrantly purchased lager yacht during these hard times.
Runners- comment - hard up and a long way down
Walkers - Himalayan start - India Jones -finale pleasant knee trembler
Jo'burg Jake following in Mummy's footsteps.
Shepherds Bush for taking softer option
Rejuvenated Canadian Farty Bum became U.S Grandma - Muzeltov
Pee pee stop,Comepuss,Mme,Mouton a natural red head , Too Cheeky
Lame ducks Anne of Cleavage and several others as I remember not
Farty Bum, Sam, Fly Me, Compuss, Skinny Yarso, Nigel & Estelle Virgins JohnDebbie, Jack, Mike & Sue
Sadist in his usual bloody state
Late arrivals - Too Cheeky, Diarrhoea who had been on a dog saving mission
Very late arrivals making a grand entrance - Contessa & friend
Shit of the week - Long and Hard who modelled the new Shit of the Week Tee Shirt
If anyone knows of the whereabouts of the Shit of the Week Turd please give information to Padre
Observation, are we becoming a Walking Club with a smattering of Runners with a Drinking problem, I wonder!
On on into the light……………..
Runner's report, as knicker licker walks a bit slower than most of the runners this is a separate report.
As dip bag had a quiz and I don't want to be outdone here's a quiz to find out who is not suffering from alzheimer's.
1) beer is the proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy
2) love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex
3) a single sentence will suffice for modern man: he fornicated and read the papers
4) if you can lie on the floor and not fall off without holding on then you're not drunk
5) give peas a chance ( talking to vegetarians )
6) if you think this is a financial crisis, believe me the excrement has not yet started to get into close contact with the ventilation system
Everybody knows the 3 biggest lies of all time:
Your cheque is in the post
We'll call you back
No I won't come in your mouth
But inspired by a reply I got from Martin, as he was then known, to an innocent question before the hash, and after an extra ordinary meeting of the biggest lies of all time committee, it has been decided that " yes it's a short run, and yes it's all flat" should be included as one of the biggest lies of all time.
And yes this was what he replied to my perfectly innocent question, not that I believed a word of it, I mean one has only to look at Martin to see what a devious kind of person he is, no wonder he fits in well with the hash which is in itself an amazing collection of devious types, apart from me of course .
So after the usual kind of good natured banter, insults , gossip and idle chatter that seems to characterise the start of any hash, we finally set off on what was, for at least for the first 10 metres, effectively" short and flat". The main difference between this hash and most others was that we actually saw Contessa just as we started off, smiling at us all as she arrived in her car, almost on time. We saw her again at the circle but nobody saw her at all in between, though she says she ran all the hash. Rumours that she spent her time in a bar in the village chatting with the locals have as yet not been proved, nor disproved.
So after the first 10 metres the short and flat run started to metamorphose into quite the opposite. I've been trying to get that word into a run report for a very long time.
We ran UP into the village and then we ran UP through the village and then UP out of the village and then we ran UP the side of a mountain, until eventually it flattened out and we managed to get our breath back strolling, sorry running along a narrow track which we shared with a very large pipe that might have been the famous Guiness pipe line from Dublin to the cote d'azur but probably was nothing more exotic than a rather ambitious overflow pipe from the municipal sewage system in Gourdon, where they've probably never heard of downsizing.
So we runners are enjoying the fact that we're not going severely uphill, for the first time since the start, and there's a wonderful view across the valley to Pont sur Loup and the weather is just right for running when we get directed into a long narrow tunnel which we share of course with the famous pipe line, and I'm just thinking that it might be a pipe line from Saudi Arabia or Russia or some other place where the main exports tend to be highly inflammable, and it is therefore just as well that nobody smokes on the run, when somebody starts groping me, or at least that's what it felt like. Turns out that's it's the walkers coming back through the tunnel where somebody forgot to install a lighting system and so they have no choice but to grope their way through. Undeterred by the fact that it was obviously a false trail I continued right to the end of the tunnel just to be sure, and yes it was a false trail. Either this Martin is a natural hare ( devious, sadistic, scheming and endowed with a strange sense of humour) or he's been aided and abetted by the technical adviser, Padre, methinks. So back I go into the entrails of the earth ( sounds better than a long narrow tunnel doesn't it ) and grope my way painfully back to the other end and from there back to the last check, and then we start going downhill, and we continue to go downhill for a long way, trying hard not to fall over or break an ankle or do anything else which could spoil our enjoyment of the high point of the run which is of course the beer stop.
So after getting lost once or twice ( well we are hashers after all ) we finally arrive at the beer stop, right at the bottom of this great big hill we've been running around on and into and out of, and there we proceed to do what we do best, which is of course drink beer, while we wait for other runners, walkers, stray dogs and anything else to catch up.
It's only when the beer stop is over and we have to start running again that we realize that in an attempt to ingratiate himself with us, by providing lots of downhill to compensate for all the uphill we've had to suffer that Martin has overdone it and we are now severely lower than the carpark, so it's back UP the hill we go, thinking kindly thoughts about the hares, or not as the case may be.
We eventually get back to the carpark, via the cemetery in the case of some of us, which seems somehow rather appropriate, and proceed to drink beer and nibble on things that are out of date and therefore only suitable for hashers, while we chat amongst ourselves about what a very good run it was and what a nice guy that Martin is, and what should we do to show our appreciation of all the efforts he has gone to, on our behalf.
It was decided that we should christen him, as just perhaps he'll enjoy having beer and flour rubbed into his hair, and if not, unlucky. And that is why he is now called "moist and dark", which sounds like an ad for fruit cake, and the lovely Jos will henceforth be referred to as "happy hooker" which is rather a nice name.
So a big thank you to moist and dark and happy hooker for a well organised run, much appreciated by all, even if we do sometimes have a strange way of showing it.
And now what you have all been waiting for……….. the answers to the quiz
1) Benjamin Franklin
2) Daniel s. Greenberg
3) Albert Camus in The Fall
4) Dean Martin
5) John Lennon , but he has problems with spelling.
6) me, but a lot of other people seem to think the same thing.
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!