RIVIERA HASH TRASH 574
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The U.K. Nash Hash 28/08 – 31/08/08. Organised by Edinburgh HHH,
Marathon Bhutan, 7th September 2008
Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la etc…….oh yes, it's the festive season again, which can only mean one thing - Spare Rib's annual xmas eggstravaganza (geddit?). Oh, wait, shouldn't that be Easter eggstravaganza? And isn't that a brace of Canadairs up in the sky putting out a forest fire? What the heck is going on here?
What, indeed, was going on during this Easter bunny hash? Well, first up, it was not the directions. Hashers were congregating in the usual spot by the Moulin in Le Broc as instructed, but something was up. In the end, Christine (aka Mrs Spare Rib) directed Dingus & Jobsworth to keep driving through Le Broc & to park by the cemetery, which was quite apt given the severe tests to come on a Spare Rib hash.
Mix up over, a good crowd of runners and walkers congregated by the cemetery, mourning the dearly departed contingent that was enjoying a fate worse than a fate worse than death (©Blackadder IV) at Interhash in the graveyard formerly known as Perth, WA.
What was encouraging was that threatened boycotters such as Skinny Ah-So turned up on Spare Rib's promise that this would be a short and easy run. Not to disappoint, the hare announced that he was on his own due to co-hare Cumalot being put out by a bad back, so how could he possibly have done anything but an easy run????? In order to reassure us, he also mentioned that the resto was booked for 7pm. Given that the run started at 3pm, this was not good news…..
Following this vein, the instructions were simple - follow the path vertically uphill for, ooh, 20 minutes or so, after which things would flatten out. Okay, then, right you are. The hash duly started, with an inversion of the Cumalot family. Kums Kwicker, Rachel & Undergrowth decided to run, whilst Cumalot preferred to save his breath for yapping with the other walkers.
The runners raced up the hill, with Tidal Dave on a roll way out front. Spare Rib was right, the hill was vertiginous. Fortunately, it was the same one we mounted, ahem, last year, so the way was easy (or not if you were hoping for a falsie to slow you down). The FRBs managed to scale the hill within Spare Rib's assured 20 minutes, meaning that the walkers would manage it within the hour.
Going uphill, nobody needed to pay much attention to flour. As ever, Spare Rib had generously laid the trail with Easter Bunny markings denoting chocolate eggs in the vicinity. After scoffing the first 2 lots, the runners decided that it would only be reasonable to leave the rest for the kids. However, this diversion masked a real problem, namely a lack of the white stuff.
As the paths flattened & the runners (well, some of them) picked up speed, blobs were few & far between. FRBs were well ahead, leaving the back markers of Prestressed (enjoying the scenery), Jobsworth (supposedly recovering from an ankle injury), Pedo (why waste energy on being in front?) & famille Cumalot (average age 9 ¾) to be overtaken by the hare. This was a very good thing.
At a certain point, Spare Rib noticed that his (un)generous flour markings could have been misinterpreted as they went, somewhat unclearly, off the piste with no check. He therefore had to sprint ahead to catch up with the FRBs (Dingus, Sudsucker, No Satz, Tidal Dave et al) to warn them of the peril they were in. They returned a good 10 minutes later having figured something was wrong as they saw no flour but lots of choccy egg signs - in the wrong direction. It turns out that they had practically run to the beer stop on the walker's trail. Doh!
Once regrouped, it was down & then up to Bezaudun. And now the problems begin. Firstly, the weather was turning perky and, by the time we reached the village (alt. 850m), it was snowing. And we were all in shorts & tee shirts. Secondly, the stopwatch was now reading well over 90 minutes & there was no sign of a beer stop. Thirdly Famille Cumalot was nowhere to be seen.
Disappointment in a continuing trail over, the intrepid hashers continued down & up what is probably a beautiful valley, but unfortunately noticing nothing due to the conditions. To our relief, the beer stop was not far away and it was populated by walkers and Christine's delicious cakes.
The less resilient hashers (Prestressed & Skinny Ah So in particular) sought refuge in the cars as the snow came down. Everyone was ready for a quick second half start, but we were missing Kums Kwicker & her brood. Cumalot was putting a brave face on it, noting that he would no longer argue over the telly in future when he was a widower, but we were getting disconcerted. Fortunately, they arrived just as the pack set off again.
The second half was a shortened affair. Spare Rib advised the runners not to take the trail but to go back on the walkers route due him not wanting to cause death by hypothermia. A large number of women & children (including Cumalot & Jobsworth) drove back to the start and everyone marvelled at how bleedin' snowy & cold it was. Easter my a*s*, Christmas more like.
Back at base, the hashers huddled together in a bus stop. Le Broc may be 400m lower than the beer stop in Bezaudun, but it is still at 500m altitude and it was not warm ! ! ! !
Fortunately, Christine made an executive decision that we should all come inside her house for a "nice cup of tea". The hash duly obliged and, once warmed up, Dingus led a short but sharp circle. As always, I have a selective memory about the awards, so here goes:
Hare & helper - Spare Rib for a great run (actually not much worse than he had promised!) and Christine noname for tea & cakes
Farty Bum & Mad Max for being late
Lots of visitors - Apologies for not noting names, but Tidal Dave seemed to make a number of ladies come, as did Spare Rib, whilst one got off on the radio ads
Crocks - Cumalot & Jobsworth
Skinny Ah So & Spare Rib for addressing each other by civvy names
All the tea drinkers
We were a bit stuck for shit of the week, due to Sneaky B's absence, but Skinny Ah So very kindly decided to raise the level of her voice enough times to be noticed & was therefore awarded the prize.
Circle over, it was time to taste the new non-Gilbert cuisine in the Estragon and marvel at the fate of all the stew that was religiously doled out in previous years.
Once again, many thanks to Spare Rib & Christine for an excellent (but toooooo cold) day out and for plying us all with mini eggs & cake.
A final comment. Having noted that the weather was more suitable for Xmas than Easter, as I listened to Riviera Radio this morning, they mentioned that the Canadairs had to put out a forest fire in Bezaudun, where we held the beer stop. Now either the weather swing is so great that the snow & ice dried out in record time or…………the chocolate wrappers left at the beer stop magnified the sun & created the first test of the season for those magnificent men in their Canadair machines. Bizarre or what?
Some pics from an earlier hash, taken by No Satisfaction:
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 575: NEXT HASH 6 Apr
on Sunday 6th April 2008
A Hash which will take in excellent panoramic views across the sea both east across the bay of Cannes to Cap d'Antibes and west through the Esterel mountains. Please note that sensible foot ware is HIGHLY advised and this route is not wheelchair or baby buggy friendly.
The meeting point is about 10km along the coast road from Theoule
Leave A8 at Mandelieu Centre/La Napoule junction 40, get into the left hand lane and pass around the one way system on the N7 (direction Géant, golf and La Napoule) so the petrol station is always on your left. Get into the right hand lane and carry along Mandelieu main street, passing a set of traffic lights, pass under a bridge and straight across at the roundabout with palm trees. At the next roundabout with tin statues playing golf take the 2nd exit so the BP garage is on your right. Carry along dual carriageway to roundabout; take 2nd exit passing the L'Argentiere campsite on your right. Follow road up and around the bends to where you can see the sea at a large roundabout with an anchor. Take the 1st right turn to Theoule and carry on along the coast road (N98)
Pass through the lights at Theoule and carry on up the hill and around the bends of the coast road. After 6kms you will pass the Miramar Beach Hotel on your left. Pass the sign out of the Alpes Maritimes and into the Var and then Le Trayas. After 1km pass across traffic lights with the Restaurant "Galerie d'Art" on your right. After 2kms pass the "Hotel La Calanque" on your left then another 1km you arrive at a straight section of road with apartments "Domaine de Cap Nérée" on your left and villas on your right. Just after the 2nd zebra crossing, and before a bend to your right with a 70km speed sign, there is a gated private car park on your right with the name "Parking privé du Cap Nérée". Enter the car park with the code 1458
The OnOn will be at the restaurant "Galerie d'Art" at Le Trayas for the price of 15 euros for 3 courses, including the main course of the plat du jour or vegetarian alternative. For those wishing to eat vegetarian please can you contact me in advance
Contact Hare on: 04 93 93 10 58 / 06 76 94 69 69 or email: firstname.lastname@example.org