RIVIERA HASH TRASH 571
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Perth Interhash, 21st - 23rd March 2008
The U.K. Nash Hash 28/08 – 31/08/08. Organised by Edinburgh HHH,
Marathon Bhutan, 7th September 2008
Jobsworth's Italian Job
"Who cares", was the response of most members but there was still an above-average turn out. Probably the anticipation of Never Cum's home cooking, rather than the fare England v Italy would serve up.
Jobsworth enlisted the services of his near neighbour as a co-hare which obviously helped tremendously in the planning and execution.
We all set off in the same direction, runners and others together until we reached the woods. At this point the Ladies Walking Brigade (L.W.B.) were sent off to do whatever it is they do apart from talk and the runners were down the bank to the dried-up riverbed to the first check. All neatly spread out until On On was heard halfway up the hill on the other side!!
We were only five minutes into the run when Jobsworth dived into the bushes and complained his ankle had given way and he would have to limp back to the car and drive to the beer stop.
Cumalot manfully took over, shouldering the responsibilities and, with all the experience gained by listening to Padre, was heard to repeat many times during the run: "I was not responsible for laying this part of the trail."
This run was a subtle blend of previous Jobsworth trails, all mixed together, but with an extra add-on section, courtesy of the local motorbike trail riders who had carefully carved out a path through the woods on their motorcycles.
I know the French find some strange places to have their lunch as I have often seen them set up their picnic tables next to the main road but this lot were in the middle of the countryside.. and had worked out that the best way of keeping the flies off their food was to eat next to the sewer plant.
This is when my memory fails me as this all happened more than three weeks ago and I am only donating this run report because one failed to materialise and we haven't seen Jobsworth or Cumalot since. They might stop sulking and come back if I write in glowing terms of how good it was. (How was it for you??).
Basically, we ran due north until we hit the roads again and then ran a section of Jobsworth's previous hash backwards. ..the trail that is not the runners'. However, the checks were still catching us out as we thought we knew where we were going. Dirty Dingus was particularly keen to run a few falsies here, especially the long one towards the Chateau.
Big End was particularly pleased to witness this as she knew this area intimately, having "house sat" for the Jobsworths a few years previously. Back into the woods again and up to the I.B.M. Research Centre, through the gypsy camp and on into the beer stop, passing the walkers on the way. Expert timing had us all arriving nicely strung out so we were able to get in to the refreshments without queuing.
From the beer stop it was down hill to the valley and the D18 and then wiggly wiggly up the side of the hill through a few gardens and into the car park.
I do not have a list of Down Downs, but I do remember, Padre convened a court, acting as both defendant and counsel for the defence. Prestressed ,with his judge's wig and a gavel, played judge. Farty Bum was main witness for the prosecution, the charge being: "Padre's directions being a load of shit", according to Mad Mouton.
Padre was so sure the traffic lights had not been stolen, he offered to buy dinner, if they had actually been taken away and hidden, by Paedophile, as he alleged for the prosecution.
Tidal Dave and Cum Cum ?? were to act as Queen's Counsel.
The case thrown out of court and Farty Bum sentenced to Shit of the Week, but due democratic processes ensued and Padre was desperate for a beer and had his Down Down administered by Virgin no -name Barbara.
Then it was all back to Jobsworth's for Six Nations Rugby and food.
The runners, fast and furious, reached the settee and best seats in front of the TV, ready for kick-off and the L.W.B. ambled in later.
Then boy, you should have see those Walkers move, faster than striking cobra and just as deadly. They were all in the kitchen faster than Jonny Wilkinson through a half gap.
The runners were content to sit and watch a dire England performance and have their sustenance at half- time. And well worth waiting for ,even if Never Cums didn't make allowances for the kitchen staff being unable to follow instructions and we ended up with a real Ring-tingling prawn Vindaloo which was appreciated by the beer-swilling mob in front of the television.
The remainder of the drinks provided a wide range of subtle flavors and tastes to satisfy the complete range of the gastronomic spectrum.
Next up pudding, constructed by various other members, which were consumed in eager haste, once again mainly by members of the L.W.B.
Thanks to all concerned for a very enjoyable event, even if England just scraped in a narrow win.
P.S. Too Cheeky is in serious training for Perth Interhash and is upping her gym work and stretching exercises. She asked her instructor if she could train to do the splits. He said, are you flexible? She said I can't make Wednesdays.
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!