RIVIERA HASH TRASH 562
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Hares go to a lot of time and trouble to set trails and organise on-ons. Please remember this before you start whingeing. If you have a genuine gripe, bring it up with everyone, don't make snide comments!
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Where have all our run reports disappeared to?Padre 22nd October 2007
We used to have a report for every run until about 18 months ago and then they started hiding away somewhere. Perth Interhash, 21st - 23rd March 2008
Perth Interhash, 21st - 23rd March 2008
A short report for a short run
The weather is changing, spring is coming (in the Southern hemisphere), so it must be time for Spare Rib’s Easter Egg hunt. I don’t know if it was the after effect of Jingle Balls & Sneaky B’s party the previous week, the hare’s previous form or a cock up in the pin in the map timing (14h30 for 15h30), but only a dozen hashers braved Le Broc.
For the first time in aeons, there were more runners than walkers (well, if you exclude walking runners such as Pedo& Two Cheeky, runners who gave up part way through such as Danish Bacon & Cumalot and runners who were seen driving the trail but never running it such as C*ntessa).
Spare Rib proclaimed, po-faced, that he had no co-hare. Furthermore, he had been working in Montpellier all week and so had set a short & easy trail that very morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah.....
The run set off 5 minutes after 3pm, giving late comers the chance to arrive. As nobody took up the offer, runners went off below the village in the opposite direction to the beer car. Walkers set off gaily to the Chapelle St Marguerite, scene of many Spare Rib beer stops in the past.
Almost immediately, there was an altercation just past Spare Rib’s house as a yappy dog came flying out to terrorise the pack. No, it wasn’t Scamp, but a neighbour’s yorkshi*e terrier (or something) trying to make up lack of stature in viciousness by attaching itself to Dingus, who allegedly saw it off by practicing a Jonny Wilkinson (or should it now be that blonde S African bloke Percy Montgomery) drop kick on it.
Rucus over, the trail led out of Le Broc and down the hill (could have been worse & uphill, I suppose!) where the pack was passed – several times – by C*ntessa, seemingly lost. Bizarrely, she did not stop for directions & we never saw her again all day. Maybe she wasn’t hashing, just having a nice Sunday afternoon drive.
The trail led through paths & roads to a particularly vicious check that brought the pack together. After a particular piece of collective "haven’t got a clue", Dingus remembered that the trail went up the side of houses the previous time – lo & behold, he was right! It was about here that Danish Bacon & Cumalot decided that yapping was more entertaining than running and were not seen again until the end.
Once up the hill, it was a pleasant downhill jog past the Chapelle St Marguerite to an obvious check. Beer car was clearly uphill to the left, so Dingus & Sudsucker went that way. Jobsworth, meanwhile, bemoaned that the first half was only an hour long and elected to take the long, steep downhill falsie.
The walkers welcomed the runners to the beer car with Mrs Spare Rib, aka Christine and some of her legendary home made cakes. Scrumptious! The sun was starting to go down & the chill was in the air when Cumalot phoned to ask directions to the beer car. We waited 10 more minutes to no avail, so the walkers set off back the way they came. Spare Rib promised the runners that the second half was easier than the first and that he had laid a beautiful short cut that would bring them home well ahead of the walkers.......in life, there are lies, damned lies & Spare Rib!
Off it was on the second half, with Spare Rib shortcutting to guide Cumalot home. He rejoined the runners after a beautiful view of Gilette (the best a man can get, in fact) to warn them of a baying pack of dogs to be negotiated at the top of a hill. Sure enough, the pack of 5 runners was welcomed by an equal size pack of dogs. Fortunately, they were content with barking as we raided their gypsy encampment.
Dogs seen off, it was time for the "short" short cut home. Bear in mind that we were in a forest & the sun was going down. It was blinkin’ freezing & Sadist was not a well man. The run through the forest was beautiful, but something was not right. We could see a village, for sure, but it resembled more Bouyon (scene of the beer stop last Easter) than Le Broc. Sure enough, we rejoined the trail of 6 months before. This was worrying; we were at least 5 vertical km from the on in & the weather was not getting any warmer. Sadist was starting to trail & Jobsworth went a*se over t*t tripping over a tree trunk as he started the climb. Only Dingus was relishing the challenge.
Fortuitously, Spare Rib had finished laying the trail where we met the main road & gave us 2 choices – 1. Run over the hill (6 months ago but in reverse) – 2. Hitch a lift back with him. I was absolutely determined to keep running, but the others forced me to get into the car against my will so as not to slow down the circle. On the way back, the car’s thermometer displayed what we had suspected – 7 degrees & dropping.
Back in Le Broc, the walkers had been waiting patiently for over an hour, or so they claimed. Consequently, the circle was a very quick affair, rendered even shorter by my amnesia one week on:
The on in, for those who attended, was a last farewell to Gilbert, who is selling up his restaurant. It is not known if the new owners will maintain his extensive & exotic menu.
Thanks as always to Spare Rib for a great effort and a (marginally) shorter run. Much appreciated!
R*n 563: NEXT HASH 4-Nov
Magical mystery tourette in