In Your Papier
set a run
Hares go to a lot of time and trouble to set trails and organise on-ons. Please remember this before you start whingeing. If you have a genuine gripe, bring it up with everyone, don't make snide comments!
Hash directions should go email@example.com
Have your say-got an opinion? Give it to me and I’ll publish and be dammed
Perth Interhash, 21st - 23rd March 2008
The owners of a quiet lodge resort in southern France had an interim clerk working the phone the day Sadist called to book all of our reservations; which was great for the Riviera HHH because had the usual clerk been around, we would have all been welcomed by police officers instead of Champagne and Pastis due to the death and destruction that ensued after last year’s Porky Rolls weekend shenanigans. Seeing that somehow one thing had gone correctly, Padre decided he would continue to push his luck and used his powers as Religious Advisor for good, and not evil this time, and brought us great weather for the entire weekend causing us to blame him for our sunburns.
Following the trail laid on Friday by Perpetual Motion ending with a short circle, we hastily moved to the dining area where we were promptly instructed to eat outside so that our stench would not bother the other guests. Hashers do not do well with such orders, so mismanagement negotiated to eat outside in the elements in exchange for all the leftover wine that we could draw from the barrel. There was much rejoicing and the party continued into the night outside of Padre’s villa where Perpetual Motion promised to obtain ice for the following day while drinking amnesia beer.
Saturday proved to be much more eventful as Dirty Dingus and Sud Sucker impromptu laid trail, which explains why we all became lost and we went around the island 48.3 times in seemingly endless circles and El Torro did most of those laps backwards. But how did we get to the island we were rambling on? Against proper hash etiquette due to the forethought and planning, we took a ferry at 1000 and did not swim from floating log covered in flour to another. The problem of obtaining a ticket for the ferry was handled by mismanagement, and tickets were given to all the hashers moments before boarding, which raises an important question. What if you wanted to go for one last wank before joining the group and you missed your chance to get your ticket? I honestly do not know what I would do if stuck in such a predicament, but am sure that I could count on the advice of Happy Dangler if such an instance occurred.
****(He cut it fine as he was still breathing heavy when he jumped aboard without a ticket)****
After unboarding the boat, the first question arose ‘Wheres the beer?’ to which some silly hare type explained that it was just on the other side of the flour dollops and we should go drink it. Actually it turned out that the dollops kept going and no beer was found. The hashers started going insane because of the thirst and took off running after these flour markings hoping that each one would be the last and that they could finally drink some beer. The hashers then became frantic with all this running and often found out that in haste, they had gone the wrong way causing the pack to turn around and half mindedly run the opposing direction. The thirst and insanity was so bad that Vulcan complained about that lack of running because he had lost his mind and did not realize that he was running at the moment and just did not realize it. Realizing that altitude sickness could be deadly, Guinn-ass and Rug Rat took it upon themselves to lower their elevation during the middle of the run, which caused minor scrapes but probably saved the republic as we know it. After running more than 69 kilometers, we reached a point where the water reached the sand and is referred to as a beach and that is where Sneaky Bastard lived up to his reputation by sneaking up in a boat and unloading his beers in a sneaky fashion (while being conceived out of wedlock in a sneaky fashion). The walkers arrived shortly after and promptly started quibbling about the lack of instruction that they didn’t listen to before starting causing them lose trail. Sandwiches were made, swimming was made, drinking did happen, shenanigans were plotted, and sheep were fondled. There was much rejoicing until it was announced that we must continue the trek to the next beer stop, which made no logic because the beer was already at the same location as we were; or so we thought. Once again, Sneaky Bastard lived up to his reputation and before we knew it, he had loaded up the boat with the beer and taken three harriettes hostage before departing. Even with this advanced leave, he was still late in getting to the second beer stop. On a boat filled with women and beer how come he was delayed? Luckily for the pack, there was a nice perky local girl that filled our time waiting on Sneaky and she continued to sunbathe and go in and out of the water. Did I mention she had a great rack and no top? Or as Padre said "Phhhoooaaaarrrr"
There was much rejoicing."
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!