Riviera H3: Lou Papier

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Lou Papier

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In Your Papier

On! On!

How to
set a run

Porquerolles Away Weekend


Worth Reading


Hares go to a lot of time and trouble to set trails and organise on-ons. Please remember this before you start whingeing. If you have a genuine gripe, bring it up with everyone, don't make snide comments!

Hash directions should go torhhh@yahoogroups.com

Have your say-got an opinion? Give it to me and I’ll publish and be dammed

Never Cums

Blue Danube H3 River Cruise, 9th - 16th September 2007
Details here.

Porquerolles Away Weekend, 21st - 23rd September 2007
Details here.

Perth Interhash, 21st - 23rd March 2008
Details here.

Dogs, dogs & more dogs

Settle down class, we start with an equation today:

If Fly Me + Cum Cum = Perpetch/2, what does that make this week's hash?

Following the sub tropical hash of 2 weeks ago, the hares sensibly - but irritatingly for those of us who over indulge on a Saturday night - scheduled a morning start in Pegomas. This resulted in an early riser brigade, supplemented by an army of 4 dogs (of the 4 legged variety, the co-hare has asked me to make clear). Well, 4 at the start and 5 by the end.
Driving down the A8, I managed to catch up with Pedo, which was good as I found Cum Cum's back road directions to Pegomas somewhat complicated; for once I could avoid driving with a map in my face and follow somebody else. All continued to plan for all of 500 metres, when Pedo pulled in on the pretext of recognising a hairstyle like his own behind (up to you how to interpret that!). Blow me down, but he didn't have a clue either, so I found myself negotiating the back roads that, as sure as hashers follow flour, brought us to the main road into Pegomas.
Apparently, Pedo wasn't the only one playing that trick today, as witnessed in the circle. Anyway, the result of all this was a late start, which was worrying given that the resto was a 13h30 or you lose it affair.
Such lateness allowed all to gather round to bemoan the state of English rugby & rejoice in the state of French rugby. All except Contessa, that is, who had dug up some magnificent photos & cuttings from early hashes. It seems that a convicted felon ran with us back then. Wonder if we have any such miscreants in our midst nowadays????? You know who you are……
Oh, I nearly forgot, Two Cheeky was also totally disinterested in rugby talk, due to the start point being next to a fire station. The pompiers were in for a welcome bit of heat for a Sunday morning.
Greetings over, Dingus signalled the start for the walkers. The pack was missing a significant number of (mainly running) regulars, but the walkers numbers were swelled by visitors of one hue or another. The runners were held back for a few minutes, chomping at the bit as the meticulously timed hash calculated when to optimise arrival at the beer stop.
And off we went. The first km was without checks, allowing the pack to separate into 2 groups. The first "serious" group included Dingus, Sudsucker, Prestressed & Jobsworth, who soon overtook the walkers for the first of many times. The second group could best be described as a "fast walkers group", being ably led by Pedo who for once did not have the benefit of checks to slow the FRBs down.
The walkers were notably also breaking into fast & slow groups. The back markers were guided by Cum Cum, who was absolutely not spending her time chatting this week. The front walking ba&%ards were led by Smelly Poo, who is back on her annual pilgrimage from WA. Unfortunately, the Aussie health system is evidently of third world standards as she had to return half way across the world to have an operation that precluded her from running.
Having overtaken the walkers, the runners found the first check. Jobsworth led everyone up a long falsie that turned out to be the first of many. How stupid to believe that the trail would be flat when there was a nice juicy hill to climb. Back on trail, it was up, up & away into a forest that seriously needs watering. The walkers were following on behind and Del Boy was happy to oblige by mooning at her fellow walkers as she crouched down and did what the rain has forgotten for several months.
And now arrives the biggest mystery of the hash. The pack eliminated all falsies at the top of the hill and started running down towards Auribeau until the flour simply ran out. Aha, this happened to Perpetch last time! It was obviously more of those damned asbos or even wild boar. But the hares were having none of it, which leads us to believe that it could have only happened due to them forgetting to lay flour as they yapped around setting the trail.
Misdemeanour rectified by Fly Me, it remained a pleasant road run with some long falsies to reach the beer stop in beautiful Auribeau. Having passed the walkers several times, everyone reached the beer stop within a reasonably coherent time.
And what a beer stop! Virgin Mouth had obviously taken complaints about Geoffreys failing in the catering department to half. The beer car was awash with crisps, jammie dodgers, flakes, crunchies and all sorts of goodies to send the e number police into a frenzy.
As on the first half, the walkers had a head start, after which the runners were given a guided tour of Auribeau…and of Confusion & her brood looking dazed and confused. Once through Auribeau, it was a straight run down to the river for the swim stop (not that I saw anyone take it up). This being a Sunday, the river was busy with families, one of whose dog took a liking to Dingus and followed him back to the start. This brought the hash canine brigade to 5. Good thing I didn't bring Tessa & Wuff Diva and Tache did not turn up!
Everyone straggled back to the car park, timing depending on the desire to relax by the water. Everyone, this was, except the Confusion entourage, who decided instead to phone Cum Cum for directions home.

The circle was a relatively quick affair, due to restaurant time constraints. As ever, I can't remember half the nominations but here goes for those I do recall:
Hares Fly Me & Cum Cum for a great run
Del Boy & Knicker Licker for mooning & performing lesbian sex in the circle
Cum Cum for advertising the Hash on Riviera Radio under her real name, encouraging them to play trite by Barry Manilow
Sneaky Bastard for new shoes, an accolade he took disgracefully by dragging up some half burned plimsolls he had found on the walk and not drinking out of them.
Jobsworth for sending bad taste Pavarotti texts.
Virgins Alison from the Riviera Radio advert, (see it does work), Carolyn,
Virgins Mouth's son, girlfriend and mother
Returners Smelly Poo & Lindsey with her 2 dogs
Virgin Mouth for excelling herself with the Geoffreys supplies.
Shit of the week was a one sided affair. Various very weak nominations were made, but only Dire Rear could win due to her forgetting to return the SoW mat just 2 weeks after taking it home to wash it. Disgraceful!

And so, 19 of the hashers went to the resto to mull over Contessa's tidbits from years gone by, leaving us to answer the equation at the beginning of this report. The owner was so impressed that he decided to wear his England football kit in tribute. It's not known if he was beaten up by the local riff raff later.

Answer to the equation at the start: Half the length, half the flour, twice the yapping but a great stretch of the legs in a beautiful area. Thanks hares!

Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!

Porquerolles Away Weekend
R*n 558, 559 and 560 : NEXT HASH 21-23 Sep

Due to late cancellations we are able to offer one or two places on a first cum first served basis at the original booking price (ie cheaper).

Also day places are available:
Run with lunch only 30 euros (this includes the cost of the ferry to the island)
Run, lunch, cabaret, disco, open bar etc only 50 euros.

Friday 21 September

16h00 Onwards: Arrivals Cocktails, hosted by Big End.

17h30 for 18h00: Early Evening Hash. Just a loosener for Saturday's Main Event.

20h00: Dinner (The dining room closes at 21h00, so the later you arrive, the more the gannets will have eaten!).

21h30 Onwards: Drinks provided by the hash accompanied by visiting Hashers' performances (They are sure to be good). If you want more than your standard beer / wine then you'll need to visit the bar and pay for your poison.

Saturday 22 September

07h00 to 09h00: Breakfast.

10h00 for 10h30: Main Hash, including ferry to Porquerolles Island. Hared by a cast of thousands and comprising of trails for walkers, slow and fast runners, and ballbreakers for the FRB's.

This Hash will incorporate 2 beer stops, and a snack lunch will be available at one of these. The beer stops are located at great swimming spots, and there will be sufficient time for a quick, or leisurely, dip.

+/-16h30: Return Ferry.

17h00: Circle and End of Hash "Intent Cordial" cocktail, to celebrate centuries of peaceful Hashing between the French and everyone else.

19h30 - 21h00: Dinner.

21h00: Disco plus Cabaret: By popular acclaim, Easylay Airlines by RH3 will not be presented. Theme for the weekend fancy dress is "Pirates and Dolly Parton" with prizes for the most authentic or Padre's whim.

Sunday 23 September

07h00 to 09h00: Breakfast.

10h00 for 10h30: Hare of the dog Run, hared by Dirty Dingus.

13h00: Lunch.

15h00: Farewell.

Look out on the reception notice board for further information and last minute changes, and specific start location details.

On Sunday the bar will remain open until such it has been drunk so if you decide to stay for Sunday night then you should still have plenty of lubrication.
Also if we have anyone/group of an exhibitionist nature and would wish to contribute to the evenings entertainment, please contact me direct, to allow me to allocate you a spot in the programme for your act.

ONON to the Porky Rolls

Route Instructions

From Nice and Points East

Point to Point Distance Instruction Direction Km

Take A8 Autoroute
NB watch speed at Les Adrets as there is a speed camera there just after on ramp!
Aix, Toulon

Keep Right onto A57 Hyères, Toulon 100

Join A 57 Hyères, Toulon 52

 Toll Plaza, pay up (€9 from the east)

Join A570 Toulon 7

Follow N98 Hyères Centre

Exit Highway
Roundabout Straight On
NB DECREASE SPEED TO 90 km/h 500m before roundabout as there is a speed camera there just after the exit for Géant!
0.15km Traffic Lights, Right Hyères
Roundabout, Straight On  

Keep Left

0.5 Turn Left Le Port
Hyères Airport

0.9 Traffic Lights Straight On Hyères Airport
1.8 Roundabout, Right Porquerolles
0.3 Roundabout, Straight On
Enter Le Capt

2.3 Roundabout, Straight On Porquerolles
0.4 Roundabout Straight On Porquerolles,
La Tour Fondue

1.5 Turn left before port VVF Vacances
VVF Vacances Gate
Follow signs to Reception

From Aix-en-Provence and Points West

Take A8 Autoroute in the direction of Nice, Keep Right onto A57 following signs to Hyères, Toulon at km 98, then once in A57 follow instructions above

No Responsibility accepted for incorrect distances, instructions etc., etc., etc.

If you get lost it’s your own fault.