Riviera H3: Lou Papier

RIVIERA HASH TRASH 556
édition électronique en plus!

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Lou Papier

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EDITO
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R*N REPORT
Jobsworth

Worth Reading

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FACTS

Hares go to a lot of time and trouble to set trails and organise on-ons. Please remember this before you start whingeing. If you have a genuine gripe, bring it up with everyone, don't make snide comments!

Hash directions should go torhhh@yahoogroups.com

Have your say-got an opinion? Give it to me and I’ll publish and be dammed

Never Cums

Blue Danube H3 River Cruise, 9th - 16th September 2007
Details here.

Porquerolles Away Weekend, 21st - 23rd September 2007
Details here.

Perth Interhash, 21st - 23rd March 2008
Details here.


Phew, wot a scorcher!

Well, nobody mentioned run reports in the circle (more of an oblong this time), so I guess I'll write some drivel down whilst it's fresh in my head.

First things first, a fantastic thanks to our hosts Ann of Cleavage and Shepherd's Bush, ably assisted by hare Perpetch for a great day.

However, God/Climate Change/Whomever you want to blame for "the weather not being what it used to be" really came into their own this week. The weather in the week before the run was rubbish (I was in London and that was an understatement); in the Var I understand it was just cool-ish. Consequently, Perpetch decided that the pack could do with a winter length leg stretching exercise. What he didn't bargain with was a cloudless day with temperatures in the upper 30s. Ear muffs and long johns not needed.

And so it was that a large collection of hashers set off from the Montauroux cinema car park (different to a UK one through the lack of glue sniffing hoodies waiting to half inch wheelcaps) and into the great Var Hinterland. The runners were minus 1 within 10 metres of the start, which I reckon to be a record. Roadrunner decided that the heat was too much for him and used the lame excuse of a broken shoulder to join the walkers, leaving the pack to run the road on his behalf.

The run was classic Perpetch - long stretches leading into a forest where we maintained momentum on long tracks, with the odd circle every kilometre or so providing small respite from the heat. Shiggy was apparently banned on the basis that it would slow the running down too much. What I found weird about this run was that, no matter how ahead & with the pack I thought I was, I kept catching up with back marking walking/yapping runners. The first pair was Dire Rear and Bozo, followed a while later by Pedo and Flyme.

Taking of front runners becoming back markers and back again, I kept seeming to overtake & be overtaken by Tidal Dave, who looked like he was sporting a big bite from one of those aggressive but tiny yappy dogs - Yorkshi*e, poodle or something. It turns out that he was not bitten by a dog but by horse flies whist recceing for his forthcoming hash. It looked nasty & I reckon he deserves a medal for the worst looking if not most painful injury of the week.

It was some point just after passing Dire Rear that the pack was flummoxed by an evil piece of Perpecth' work. We flew (sorry, huffed & puffed) down a long falsie, only to find that all other possibilities were false & Perpetch resetting trail through crosses. Shome mishtake shurely? It turns out that Montauroux is highly populated with thugs over and above those in the cinema car park and they had decided to while away a Sunday afternoon rubbing out trail. Asbos the lot of them!

After this, the pack noticed that walkers had not been seen at all and that we were well over the hour mark. Excellent, time for a beer stop! Was it heck. Perpetch, however, was feeling sorry for the runners and started to help your scribe among others to short cut and run down the main road towards the town. Trouble was, the town was a long way away and the otherwise pleasant view was destroyed by heat exhaustion (ed's note - stop whining).

Eventually, though, the trail went through the town centre and out the other side to a familiar looking house. None other than our hosts also elected to host the beer stop. Assorted sweaty runners arrived just in time to see the walkers leave on the second half, having waited 30 minutes and eaten all the Jammie Dodgers & Crunchies they could find without breaking into Dingus's car.

Executive decision time it was. Do we stay at the site of the on-on or do we run the second half? A mutiny was orchestrated by the GM (is this technically possible?) and the runners who were lucky enough not to need to go back to their cars stayed at the A of C and SBs wonderful home, whilst the remainder yomped the most direct way up to the start car park. Unfortunately for Perpetch, this meant that his beautifully planned second half was for nothing.

The Circle was held up for a while due to parking congestion. Knicker Licker decided to emulate the Mayor of London by imposing a €5 congestion charge on those struggling to find space. Was this legalised robbery or just a protection racket? Eventually, it got underway, with space restrictions due to Dingus's beer car blocking much of our host's driveway - hence the oblong reference at the start.

As always, I don't remember many individual circle nominations, so apologies to those I miss or misrepresent. Here goes anyway:
Hosts - Ann of Cleavage & Shepherds Bush (who struggled to be pulled away from his Barbie)
Hare - Perpetch
Early Leaver - Tidal Dave
Ogling big breasts - Sneaky Bastard (or was it Prestressed?)
2*20th Birthday Girl - Cums Quicker (who only graced the hash on condition that her birthday wasn't mentioned.)
Cumalot for ratting on his missus's birthday (boo, hiss!)
Visitors/Virgins/Returners - Sorry, my brain's addled, although the returners included Cumalot & Jobsworth - at least I remember my own down downs)
Naming ceremony for Shark Bait, on account of young Henry's inquisitiveness as to his war wounds and him spinning a reasonably convincing line about Great Whites.
Shit of the week nominations included the usual suspects of Sneaky Bastard and Farty Bum for the hell of it. Bizarrely, though, Prestressed edged through in the last furlong and won the title due to his many misdemeanours such as leading the second half pack astray and trying to place SoW on his competitors.

Anyway, the Circle closed and it was time for the onon to commence. Our hosts had laid on a fantastic spread and it was much appreciated (except by those too busy nattering to have time to be served gazpachio. Cum Cum decided instead to steal young Rachel's. Had this happened a while earlier she should have got SoW). The excellent starter gave way to a fantastic main course and ample dessert to reverse the effect of all that exercise.

Once again, thanks and here's looking forward to the next extravaganza.

Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!

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R*n 556: NEXT HASH 9-Sep


Cum Cum and Fly-Me present their annual

"End of Summer Hash ’n Splash"

Celebrate the survival and end of the tourist season with a Hash ‘n Splash on Sunday 9th September 2007.

Hash starts in the car park opposite the fire station (don’t mention pompiers!) in Pegomas at 10.30am for 11.00am prompt start. Weather permitting there will be a splash / swim stop at the river on the 2nd half of the Hash to cool you down so bring or wear swim wear.

After down downs it’s a short walk for a meal in Pegomas square at the restaurant L’Ideal.

Directions to the Hash:

Exit A8 at junction 41 Cannes La Bocca. At 1st roundabout turn right, direction La Roquette sur Siagne, after 1km turn right opposite the Siagne Industrial Estate where there are lots of signposts to various companies. After another 1km, by the sign to the "Relais du Pas de l’Ail restaurant" take the left fork where the main road bends round to the right. Carry on up this small road for 2km passing "Pepiniers de St Georges Le Vieux" sign on right and this brings you onto the D109 by "Ernest Cavasse". Turn right and immediately there is a small roundabout with a Super U on your right. Turn left at the roundabout direction Auribeau, Grasse and Peymeinade onto a ring road D109a. Pass a busy vegetable and bread market on your right, then a garden center and the Fire station. At the next roundabout turn left (3rd exit) into a small lane Chemin l’Ecluse with the sign for Ecole Primare and L’Ecluse Restaurant. The car park is situated on your left next to a sports ground, Stade Gaston Marchine, enter at the 2nd gate, just by a very small roundabout filled with stones. 10.30am for an 11.00am prompt start.

Any problems contact the hare on 06 76 94 69 69