Riviera H3: Lou Papier

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Hares go to a lot of time and trouble to set trails and organise on-ons. Please remember this before you start whingeing. If you have a genuine gripe, bring it up with everyone, don't make snide comments!

Hash directions should go torhhh@yahoogroups.com

Have your say-got an opinion? Give it to me and I’ll publish and be dammed

Never Cums

Euro Hash, London, 13th - 15th July 2007
Details here.

IAH2007, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, 31st August - 3rd September 2007
Details here.

Blue Danube H3 River Cruise, 9th - 16th September 2007
Details here.

Porquerolles Away Weekend, 21st - 23rd September 2007
Details here.

Perth Interhash, 21st - 23rd March 2008
Details here.

Run Report 551 for Saturday, June 30th on the RHHH Salernes Weekend

June 29 – July 1

Ode to Wetspot – Godfather of Salerne Weekend Hash Festival

By Contessa


Promoted as a long and spectacular run/walk, followed by a home cooked meal and party Wetspot and family put on the annual Salernes weekend at their Var bastide, an area surrounded by provencal villages, near Gorge du Verdon. & Aup. With swinging hammocks, beers on ice and hasher cars directed to parking in the adjacent green field it was like a flashback to rock festival days. Only missing was Janis Joplin and the Dead … Black Cadillac’s (how many of you know what this means?) – somebody is Woodstock dreaming…?

At last 45 walkers and runners took up the challenge on this muggy, hot Saturday afternoon. This Hash began with a car ride ! – a first for the Walkers, who were ferried to the Sillans-La-Cascade Falls, while the runners were obliged to cover this distance of several kms on foot. Wetspot assigned his daughter Karin-Ann the honour of escorting the walkers on the trail. Newly married and on leave from her Geography teaching assignment in Viet Nam, she was over qualified and well prepared for leading a foot patrol through the jungle mountain including two amphibious operations. But there was to be no Fall of Saigon; a Fall of Salerne or Sillans was more likely.

The trail began by following the babbling Bresque brook under shaded trees, a very charming riverside path that had us all fooled into thinking this was an easy one. Leading to a picturesque falls cascading into a lagoon; one could almost imagine Brook Shields skinny dipping in a fig leaf. This Garden of Eden was soon invaded by Walkers as we gathered on the wooden plank viewing platform to shoot photos and marvel at a little bit of exotism hidden in the Var. Did exotism lead to exhibitionism? Not for the Walkers – did any runners take the plunge?

The path carried around underneath the Falls and then climbed out of the river bed to the higher hills above. We went up, up and we went far, and the route slogged on and on for hrs down gravel roads. I remember hearing when we started the rumour that this trail was 17 kms short… At one point we were told that we had a choice of trails – short cut straight ahead to the end and a public swimming pool or hang in there for yet another hour of walking eventually taking us to the beer stop. Most walkers opted for extended route, mandatory for runners who bravely shuffled past in a daze like trance similar to running an ultra marathon, and about an hour later, after more slogging down gravel roads, we finally arrived at the beer stop, which seemed like a mirage in the desert and coyly placed in an abandoned chapel – Lord have mercy! , We were treated to plenty to drink, lots of chips of various roasted flavours and a splendid view overlooking the rolling valley and hills. Local giant black ants were treated to us, ready to hitch hike out crwling boldly up the pants of Hashers trying to take a seat on the ground. This kept us on our feet.

With some time to catch up and talk to everyone,, I learned that this was one of the most international RHHH runs held recently. We were honoured to have as guests, runners from Brussels, Paris, Geneva, Milan, Houston, The Hague, London, Edinburgh and Australia. Did I miss anyplace?

What can be said about part two but more slogging, descending, climbing and crawling down rocks until we ended up thankfully at the public swimming pool. Some runners and walkers took advantage but most were just happy to get back to the bastide basecamp. Sneaky Bastard of course snuck off to get his car and drove from his 2 pc zip-up tent in the campground, back the last few kms. .

The next thing I recall is taking part in public artful disrobing in the car park – Contessa, Prestressed, Pedo, Farty Bum, Jobs Worth Cumalot and family and more committed the obiligatory tenue transformation out of the boot of their car changing into acceptable digs for the evening.

Once changed and retiring to the Wetspot terrace, we were treated to aperitifs - Padre’s secret Blue Bucket Rum Punch – Padre dipped and we drank. It was so good that it can’t be described – you have to taste it- lets hope we have the chance again. This put all of us in the right mood for the Grand Circle, and it was one of the best I can remember hosted by a team of four or five, ex, current and future Religious Advisors. Padre, The Grand Master, Sneaky Bastard, Dirty Dingus etc. Tasked with the assignment of writing this report, I tried to capture all the awards and honors and folly that seemed to go on for an hour…. And I ask forgiveness if I forgot or confused anyone in this write-up so here goes,

Downs Downs to:

  • Hares – Perpetch Wetspot Bold Fokker
  • Arriving late – Stella Artois and Confusion
  • No shows to the Friday run in Salernes - ? many
  • Kling On & Boots Hei Yiin’s new baby girl – for "reproducing" a Hashy Brithday was sung en masse, over the mobile phone to baby Alessandra Hei Yin Klingonette –wrapped in a swaddling clothes and quickly photographed in sunglasses. Congratulations on the birth of their daughter born in the year of the Golden Pig on a full moon Chinese 15th day . Cumalot was appointed the stand-in down down drinker for Kling On.
  • Pressed presented with a BBQ apron for his master grilling skills proving that he knows how handle a mean piece of meat
  • Another apron for Sheep Shagging was voted on (who wore it best) and it went to Sadist, beating out Tou Flash and and Iron Bum.
  • Suck On was awarded a traditional Grimburger beer
  • A down down for "excessive optimism’ was awarded to, Virgin mouth for Hotel Wandering the previous night, found trying keys to get into hotel rooms
  • Pedo for driving women ‘wild’ in his 4x4
  • Female Sex Tourism is travel by women partially or fully for the purpose of having sex as Contessa explained.(Salernes destination excluded) . Representing female Sex Tourists several Hasherettes received down downs on behalf of countries were: Shirley Valentines (if British), yellow cabs if Japanese to Sudssucker, Canadian secretary syndrome to Farty Bum (as known in Barbados) and the list goes on (see Wikipedia for the full list)
  • For a good breakfast to Padre, El Toro, Hair Flic, Mabouche,
  • Knocker Licker won the award for the Best Walking Wounded, when slipping in style on the Walk but still managing to keep her pearls in place
  • Cumalot for new Shoes
  • 100 Run Mugs were awarded to Wetspot, No satisfaction and Contessa
  • The toy wind-up chicken is the new official RHHH Mascot and now owns the name Higgins Cock
  • A navel sucking demonstration and vote was performed by visiting Hashette from Paris, Yurk sucker, on five prone, shirtless Hash men volunteers who took to the ground, El Toro’ won the honor as the most suckable navel (most likely thanks to his new trimmed down physique)
  • Scotts in tartan shorts
  • Tight Fit and Night stripper
  • "It’s a small dick after all" a new Hash Song was led by Paris Hashettes,( as RHHH hashettes commented it was a shame we never learned that song here!)
  • Prestressed for returning bits of lost and found from his mid-summer hash
  • Shit of the Week to Suds Sucker, Bold Fokker
  • Dereliction of duty – should have put the beer somewhere ? to Perpetch, Wetspot and Bold Fokker
  • Big End- for stepping in at the last minute on Friday to cater in salads & Italian cuisine
  • Visitors - From Madrid:  BEA and Tight Fit , Paris St. Cloud - Dr Peeps & Yark Sucker; The Hague - Bold Fokker and Tongue Job;  from Houston, Texas:  Cyclops & Horney Dog;  French Canadian ,Night Stripper; from Edinburgh wearing orange wigs and tartan tams:  Hairspray and RugRat .  Ma Bouche  & Hair Flick


The ravenous pack was gratefully treated to a wonderful succulent couscous prepared by MadameWetspot and danced under the full moon, Contessa entertaining options to get a PhD in Pole Dancing. Also seen Dancing the night away were Perpetch, Farty Bum, Too Cheeky , El Toro, and Sneaky Bastard, and Suck ON! and on and on…

As so goes the run report for Saturday. The festivities carried on Sunday and I hear there was a bike ride too. Thanks to the Wetspot fmily and Hares the Salernes Weekend was another success in RHHH Hashing History.







Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!

R*n 553: NEXT HASH 15 Jul

Where? - It starts from the the car park next to "Canyon Forest" in Villeneuve Loubet opposite the village on the other side of the river.

How to get there? - Exit the A8 autoroute at Villeneuve Loubet and head towards grasse on the D2085. Turn right at the third roundabout towards the village and immediately left into the reception area to Canyon Forest and the riverside walk. Meet in the second carpark which is 50m on the left opposite the picnic area.

When? - 15 July. Meet at 16h30 for a 17h00 start. (summer hours now apply...)


On On
Map here.